Never before have I experienced such dark, low, confused and ‘foggy’ feelings.
I couldn’t think or feel normally. I couldn’t just ‘get up and
go’ like I used to; I was different, I was ‘damaged goods’
and a shadow of my former
self. Everything carried fear,
anger and caution and I became very pessimistic. I didn’t
recognise myself and I didn’t
like who I had become.
Two and a half years on, I
can reflect on that time from
a better place. I’m happy,
healthy and energised to
make the most of my future.
I’ve lost the fear, frustration
and resentment and I have
my zest back! I feel optimistic
and back in control of my future. So how have I got here?
I needed to get back into
exercise. I knew that my approach had to change,
but I refused to accept it. I
stopped exercising because
if I couldn’t do what I was doing before, I didn’t want to do
anything at all. Soon I realised
that there was only one way
forward and that was to start
over. I learned about my parameters and introduced my
personal trainer to my hospital
team. My personal trainer was
brilliant, taking time to understand my condition and to
know what would empower
me and together we set
realistic, safe goals.