Are You Bendy?
John Steinbeck quipped, ‘A journey is like
marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to
think you control it.’ The same can be said
of a move abroad, where adapting to a
new life, especially without the support or
routine a job can provide, requires a certain degree of flexibility on the part of the
trailing partner.
In Armstrong’s experience, flexibility
meant accepting that he baffled Indian
acquaintances: locals could not understand how an educated career man could
give it all up to follow his wife. Armstrong
accepted that ‘there’s a billion people in
India, I’m not going to change society,’
and would joke to other Indians that he
was there as a ‘trophy husband.’
Support for the Trailing Troops
While it is natural to turn to guidebooks and
culture guides to learn about a new country, it is even more important for trailing
spouses to find local support networks. The
internet and social media can be a trailing
partner’s greatest source of support; the
luckiest trailing spouses may find they acquire more insider knowledge about their
new home than the working partner.
While the life of a trailing spouse is not all
country club lunches and cocktail parties,
it is full of opportunities for enriching
experiences and relationships. Make the
most of it!