The
autumn sun was glistening off
the cobblestones of the rue Montorgueil in
central Paris, bustling with leisurely shoppers
and relaxed café-goers basking in possibly
the last rays of the season. I round a corner,
coming eye to eye with a sexy stranger,
causing my smile – brought on by the glorious
weather – to widen a touch further. Suddenly,
he appears by my side. ‘Voulez-vous prendre
un café?’ A surprising and seductive invitation...
could finding romance in Paris be so easy?
Many expats follow their hearts abroad,
some joining their relocated partners, others
chasing their dreams and searching for love
along the way. At the start, I was compelled
to Paris for the latter reason, drawn by an
intense love of the city and not of a particular
Parisian, however, the romantic capital of the
world has been adamantly trying to prove
its reputation to me since moving here 13
years ago. I do have to admit, being a single
girl in a foreign country is certainly exciting,
nevertheless, it can be a completely different
ballgame, akin to a North American
quarterback being tossed onto a European
‘football’ pitch. The game might have the same
name, but the rules are far from the same.
But isn’t there an international language
of love? It’s true that the first attraction is
often sparked by a mutual chemistry without
exchanging a word, nonetheless, it can be
difficult to get to or even through a first date if
you can’t communicate with your new suitor.
Having a good grasp of the local language
does help, though there are still many linguistic
land mines to navigate. For example, in
French the words for lower, kiss and have
sex are virtually the same… and thus if
mispronounced can easily lead to varying
degrees of embarrassment or trouble!
Even if you surpass these minor initial hurdles,
it can be hard to fully express feelings in
another language and some things will always
be lost in translation, a difficult issue to
overcome even after many years in your
foreign home.
Language aside, dating and courting
norms can vary greatly from country to
country. It’s been frequently observed that
French, Spanish or Italian men are much
more forward than their Anglophone
adversaries. When discussing this with a
French male friend, he explained that if he
found a woman attractive then certainly
other men did as well, therefore one had
to act quickly before missing his chance.
This doesn’t mean les femmes, mujeres or
donne from those countries are as forward
as their male counterparts. Au contraire.
They may give those sultry come hither
looks, yet they expect their ocular targets
to be the ones stepping up to the plate.
‘Monsieur Cupid really does
strike at the right moment.
Don’t wait for his arrow,
as you might be strolling
down a picturesque Parisian
street or at your desk in
a Hong Kong high-rise.’
A flirtatious foreign fille might miss her mark.
This forwardness is not only saved for the first
encounter. From my experience with the