SURVIVAL GUIDE TO LONELINESS
1. First of all, it is important that you are aware of what you are feeling. Take
some time to sit down and listen to yourself. How are you feeling? What
type of emotions are swirling around today? Are there any emotions more
present than others? Can you name them? Are they located in a special
area of your body? In today’s society we don’t give emotions enough room,
especially the uncomfortable ‘bad’ ones. We try to ignore them. None of us
like them or want to have them. But they are part of us and they will only
become a problem, when you are trying to ignore them. Feeling lonely is a
great opportunity to discover more about yourself, get more of an understanding of what is important to you, where you find your sense of belonging, and what challenges you.
2. If the feeling of loneliness is present, start noticing what your mind is telling
you. Hold the thoughts and comments from your mind lightly and remind
yourself, that thoughts are not facts. Thoughts are just thoughts. Not more,
and not less.
3. I would like you to become aware of the present moment. Some of you
might have heard of the term mindfulness. Mindfulness is the process of
consciously bringing awareness to your here-and-now experience with
openness, curiosity and flexibility. It’s a process guided by having a gentle
and non-judgemental frame of mind.
4. So explore this feeling of loneliness or sadness with an open mind and try
to make room for it. Feelings are dynamic and shift constantly. So even
when an emotion is overwhelmingly intense and you feel like it will eat you
up, if you acknowledge this feeling, and make room for it, it will change its
intensity and shift at some point. Just be curious about it and describe it in a
neutral way.
5. After doing this little exercise, ask yourself: “What do I need right now? Is it
okay for me to be a bit lonely and just sit with the feeling and make room
for it? Or do my behaviours foster disconnection and would I like to change
this?”
6. Repeat this exercise as many times as you feel you need to.