FRANKLY SPEAKING by Frank Legato
Bets and Bacon
You know , I ’ m always ready to support new placements of gambling devices , because it ’ s good for the industry , and I ’ m all about what ’ s good for the industry .
But some of the mixing and matching of gambling with strange venues lately has me questioning if the ventures will be successful . For instance , slots in strip clubs . Commissioners in Clark County , Nevada , home to all of our favorite Las Vegas casinos , are looking into changing a 42-yearold regulation that says strip clubs and other “ adult-oriented businesses ” are “ unsuitable for the conduct of gaming .” The ordinance was passed in 1980 , before I ever set foot in a casino ( or a strip club , for that matter ).
The issue came up because Sapphire , an enormous nightclub location that happens to feature adult entertainment , requested an exemption to the no-slots-at-strip-clubs rule .
“ Why are they prohibited in strip clubs ?” asked one commissioner after the request .
I can ’ t answer that , but neither can I answer another question that pops up : Why would a strip club want them ? Oh , right . They make money . But so does exotic dancing . I ’ m picturing exotic dancers exotic-ing away , flailing around , gyrating to music under flashing lights ... and no one paying them a bit of attention , because the customers are all locked into holding and spinning and climbing bonus ladders and picking for progressive jackpots . “ Hey ! Over here !” “ I ’ m wrapped around this damn pole !” “ Anybody ?” OK , for you strip club owners , here ’ s the only way it works . Put a screenin-screen image of the dancers on each slot monitor , with a common bonus : Pick from a field of icons ( garters , feathers , whatever ) to reveal one of the dancers . Reveal three images of the same dancer . You get a prize , and a cash voucher prints out . That ’ s the dancer ’ s tip . ( Just so you know , I ’ ve filed a patent for this .) I know . What ’ s the point of having exotic dancers if you want everyone ’ s attention fixed on slot screens ? And if you ’ re paying for the machines , that ’ s what you want . You might as well have a regular casino .
Maybe they can dance on top of the machines . Hey , in the old days , they used to park convertibles and speedboats up there as prizes . Why not have Mandi up there doing her thing ? “ Thanks , Mandi . Here ’ s a cash-out ticket !’ While strip-club owners ponder those possibilities , grocers in Ohio are pondering taking sports bets . Kroger and Acme have both applied for licenses
from the state to place sports betting kiosks in their supermarkets . So , grocery lists will now look like this : √ Milk √ Eggs √ Sausages √ Bengals plus 6
I ’ m waiting for them to start putting betting kiosks at the McDonald ’ s drive-through .
( In fact , I ’ m going to file a patent for that idea , too .)
Moving on from the gaming device to food , I think I ’ m changing my name to George . Or , maybe , Jorge .
That way , I can eat for free at the Downtown Grand in Las Vegas . They have a restaurant there called the Triple George Grill , and they ’ re now offering the “ George Lunch ,” free to anyone who can verify their first name is George . That gets you the Single George — half a sandwich , choice of side , soup or salad , a soft drink and a small dessert .
If you ’ ve got two Georges in your party , you get two George Lunches . Three ? The Triple George — three George lunches plus a choice of crab cake , shrimp cocktail or fried calamari , plus bottled sparkling water .
This is all to celebrate the 17th anniversary of the Triple George Grill . You can even celebrate if yours is a George-less party . Non-Georges who order the George Lunch get it for $ 20 , and get a $ 50 match bet coupon . Or , for $ 200 , get the 64-ounce tomahawk ribeye and a match-bet coupon . Sixty-four ounces ? Better line up a few Georges , or even Bernies , to help you eat it . George the EMT might also be a good idea . By George . ( Come on , you knew that was coming at some point .) In other foodie news , since you ’ re already downtown , you can bop over to the D and go to Bacon Nation . That ’ a 24 / 7 restaurant celebrating the porcine staple . You can pick from around 60 bacon dishes there , including Elvis-themed peanut butter and bacon sandwiches , milkshakes with candied bacon added , and a “ reverse BLT ,” with “ woven bacon strips ” replacing the bread .
And you don ’ t even have to be named George , although you might want to bring along George the EMT to this place , too . Geez , I ’ m a little queasy even thinking about all that bacon . I think I ’ ll head to the strip club and play some slots . Then , on to the
McDonald ’ s drive-through to lay down a bet on the Steelers . What a wonderful world .
34 Global Gaming Business SEPTEMBER 2022