FRANKLY SPEAKING by Frank Legato
Weird Crime
It ’ s time again for our semi-regular feature “ Casino Crime Blotter ,” which I last did one year ago , in December 2021 . ( OK , so it ’ s our annual feature .) I do this when I find multiple stories that constitute strange , unusual or just plain funny situations caused by the criminal element when they happen to visit gaming establishments .
Casino security has its hands full these days , as the incidents seem to be getting more bizarre . For instance , speaking of hands , there was a guy arrested in Oregon last month for parking himself outside of the hotel rooms at the Chinook Winds Casino Resort and proceeding to , umm , pleasure himself with great enthusiasm , for all to see .
The responding police officer wrote in his report that six hotel guests used the same wording as the original caller , saying the guy was “ going to town .” The officer shouted , “ Police ! Stop !” He didn ’ t . He walked away , while continuing to “ go to town .”
Eventually , the officer caught up with the guy and placed him under arrest . It was easy , of course , because by that time , the guy had gone blind .
Meanwhile , police in York County , Pennsylvania , have identified a suspect accused of stealing $ 1,226 — from a kiosk . Someone had left the cash sitting on top of a betting kiosk . A man came along and saw a wad of cash sitting there , and he picked it up and left the casino . The “ thief ” was easily identified by a surveillance photo the guy could have used for his passport .
First , yes , he probably should have reported finding the cash to a casino employee and turned the money over . Pennsylvania , where this occurred , actually has a law on the books for this situation .
States wrote laws to counter what was always common law , back to the schoolyard : “ Finders Keepers , Losers Weepers .” ( You ’ ll find it in the law books alongside “ Liar , Liar , Pants On Fire .”) It means if you find something , it ’ s yours , and tough beans to whoever lost it .
Pennsylvania ’ s law refers to “ Theft of Property Lost , Mislaid or Delivered by Mistake .” A person is guilty of this offense if “ the offender comes into control of the property of another person ; the offender knows that the property was lost , mislaid or delivered by mistake ; and the offender fails to take reasonable measures to restore the property ” to the person who lost it .
But what about the “ victim ” in this case ? Who leaves $ 1,226 in cash sitting on a kiosk ? It ’ s like George Bailey ’ s Uncle Billy in It ’ s A Wonderful Life , who left $ 8,000 in cash sitting there , only to be snatched up by evil millionaire Lionel Barrymore ... I mean Mr . Potter . Had that happened in Pennsylvania , Potter would have been arrested , the money would have been
$
returned to Bailey Building & Loan , and they wouldn ’ t have had a movie . Good thing it happened in Bedford Falls , I guess .
( I really hope you ’ ve seen It ’ s A Wonderful Life , or that last bit wouldn ’ t have made any sense . Go stream the film and watch it . Then you can come back and laugh .) Finally , last month a man took a taxicab to Resorts World on the Las Vegas Strip , after which he promptly walked to one of the cages and robbed the casino of an undisclosed amount .
News reports said he showed a note to the cashier , after which the cashier gave him a bag of cash . He then got back into the same taxi he arrived in , and was off into the wind .
What ’ s wrong with this picture ? No , it ’ s not that the guy managed to rob a casino with a note . It ’ s his mode of transportation that caught my eye . Who takes a taxi anymore ? This guy ’ s never heard of Uber ? What ’ s really strange is that he used a taxi as his getaway car . “ Just wait here , driver . I ’ ll be right back .” Smart thinking . You never want to commit a robbery and then try to hail a cab holding the bag of stolen loot before security or the police get there . ( I hate when that happens .)
I ’ m guessing the labor shortage after the pandemic is why he couldn ’ t afford to have a getaway driver . Hey , we all have to do our part to work with what we have . Maybe he ’ ll be able to afford an accomplice next time , since , you know , he has money now . Or maybe he ’ ll just use Uber . Driver : “ Are you Larry ?” Robber : “ Are you Malik ? I ’ d appreciate if you can step on it ... Hey , are these peanuts for anybody ?” Personally , I like to use valet when I rob a casino . That way , I ’ m sure to have cash to tip the attendant who brings my car . Smart , huh ?
50 Global Gaming Business DECEMBER 2022