“This thought-bodily
response-outward action
chain is why you should
never tell yourself ‘I’m
not prepared for this. I’m
going to blow it’ as you’re
walking into a big meeting.”
PUTTING A POSITIVE SPIN ON COMMUNICATION
Changing thought patterns is not a simple task, but it is one
that can be accomplished over time by simply changing, and
consciously choosing, the words you use to communicate. The
artist Yao Xiao has a series of comic strips (featured on the
right) which illustrate some of the ways we can flip the script
on negative communication and state our thoughts to others in
a more positive manner. It’s as simple as expressing gratitude
rather than expressing sorrow. Thank the other person for
their patience rather than saying you’re sorry that you’re late.
Thank the other person for listening instead of apologizing
for rambling. Yao Xiao’s comic strips beautifully illustrate the
positive effect this flip-of-the-script has on both people.
TYING IT ALL TOGETHER
The fact of the matter is that it’s much easier for you to fall into
the criticism and negativity trap by criticizing yourself or others
than it is to put in the extra effort to give yourself perspective
on things. If you spill your coffee, your immediate response
through self-talk could easily be “That was stupid of me.” This
is a visceral, gut reaction. To combat negative gut reactions,
train yourself to pause. When you spill coffee, grunt, scream,
yell, curse, but then pause. Choose to show yourself grace and
positivity. The mug was slippery. It was an accident. I’m glad it
didn’t spill onto my computer.
Unfortunately, until it becomes a habit, positivity just isn’t
the default state of most people. It will take some effort, but
rewards will come back to the individual putting in that effort.
Begin by putting forth a concerted and active attempt to think
about the way you speak to others (and yourself) and put a
pos itive spin on these things.
Every time you speak to yourself or others, know this: you have
the power to control how you feel by voluntarily choosing what
words you use. Taking the reins and consciously steering your
words away from negativity is the first step to bringing more
happiness and growth into your life and the lives of those
around you. u
Credit: Yao Xiao
SPRING 2018
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