deal that was not to our advantage. I was
extremely upset. As I left the meeting to
sit down with my two partners, I couldn’t
help but notice that the three of us labeled
the experience radically different[ly].
I was struck by how each of us used words
that had such radically different levels of
intensity and also how [our] experience
of the event was radically different.
How could it be that I was “angry” and
“upset,” one of my partners was “furious”
and “enraged,” and my other partner
was “annoyed” and “a little peeved?”
The word “peeved” itself “annoyed” me.
I thought, ‘What a ridiculous word to
describe what these people had done
to us.’ It seemed stupid in my mind. I
thought to myself, I would never use this
word to describe how I was feeling…but
then again, I had never been that calm in
an unjust situation. I began to wonder, ‘If
I did, how would I feel?’ Just to use the
word “peeved” would probably make me
laugh. It seemed so ridiculous.
I began to notice the pattern of language
that different people had and how
their language patterns produced a
magnification of their emotion or a
softening of it. I decided to try a 10-day
challenge with myself where I would first
identify the emotions that I experienced
most often that were most distressing
and find a new word—a word that would
soften or actually seem ridiculous—to
break my own pattern of thought and
feeling.
I got my first opportunity after a long
series of connecting flights, all of which
were late. I arrived at my hotel at two
in the morning, knowing I had to be up
to speak at 8 a.m., and waited at the
front desk for 10 minutes while the clerk
searched for my name in the computer
at a pace that would make a snail
impatient. I felt the frustration gathering
inside me; it started to build into anger,
and I finally turned to the man, as I felt my
intensity grow, and said, ‘I know this isn’t
your fault, but right now I’m exhausted
and I really need to get any room you
can find for me because I’m starting to
feel myself getting “a little bit peeved.”’
Just saying the word “peeved” by itself
changed the tone of my voice and made
the whole situation seem silly. The clerk
looked at me perplexedly and then broke
into a smile. I smiled back; my pattern
was broken. As ridiculous and overly
simplistic as this sounds, the simple
replacement of the word I used within
my own vocabulary broke my pattern.
The emotional volcano that had been
building up inside of me instantly
cooled.”
To change your life, you have to shift
your emotional patterns. To shift
your emotional patterns, you have to
consciously select the words you’re
going to use to describe how you feel.
What would your life be like if you could
take all your negative emotions and lower
their intensity consistently? How much
greater would the quality of your life
be if you could intensify every positive
experience you’ve ever had? u
Looking for a dynamic speaker at your next event? Check Jim out at:
JubelirerResultsGroup.com/Speaking
Jim motivates people to achieve Breakthrough Results speaking on the following topics:
· Why You Suck at Hiring – and What You Can Do About It!
· Scaling Up: Mastering the new Rockefeller Habits 2.0
· You CAN Have a High-Performance Culture!
· Get, Keep, Grow: Climbing the Ladder of Value and Engagement
· Change Your Thinking to Change Your Results!
· Greatest Coach Ever: What I Learned from Dean Smith, Roy Williams, Coach K, and Jimmy V
· Accountability: The Secret to Success
FALL 2017
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