What can I learn from this experience?
How can I handle this breakup with grace and dignity?
Once I get through this, should I do anything differently next time?
Let go of momentos.
If you’ve been with someone a while, you no doubt have collected items that remind you of them. When you were still with that person, these momentos probably made you smile. But now, these same momentos only remind you of the heartache. These could include items like pictures, rings, pillows, music, clothes, etc. Hanging on to reminders of the relationship will get in the way of moving on because anytime you walk past, wear, or touch these items, it reopens the wound you're trying to heal. If you can't bring yourself to completely get rid of some pieces, store them away in a place you don't see every day, like under your bed or in the attic, but do your best to donate or throw away as much of them as you're able. It’s hard to do because there is something very final about removing these reminders from your life. It’s like saying to yourself, "It’s over. It’s truly over." This is an important step to take.
Keep yourself busy by giving to others.
When you were together, you spent hours and hours with your special someone. Now you have all this time on your hands. Find ways to fill that time with something positive. For example, you might want to reconnect with friends. Or, you can get involved in helping organizations like Big Brothers/Big Sisters. Filling your time with positive activities will both help distract you and help you feel good again.
Learn lessons from the experience.
Things happen in life. Some of those things are really hard and unpleasant. It’s not a question of if difficult things will happen to us, but rather how we handle it when they happen. Ask yourself: