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Confidence
Challenge - If you want to change a belief from a negative
one to a positive one, you’ll first have to challenge the
validity of the negative belief. I usually use some sort of
biased deductive reasoning to do this that sounds something
like this, “Well if I’m actually unattractive then that would
mean that NO ONE in the WORLD is attracted to me in even
the slightest bit. Is that true? ... No I guess not. There are
SOME women that are attracted to me, even if I don’t seem
to be attracted to most of them. So then I’m not unattractive
but every girl isn’t throwing themselves at me (yet) either...
So I’m not attractive to everyone. So it’s just as likely that
I’m attractive as it is that I’m unattractive. And if I could
only believe one of those two, which one would it help me
the most to believe? Well if thought I was attractive I’d at
least feel better!”
Accept - Once you’ve challenged your old belief you then
have to accept a new one to go in its place. In this case I’d
choose to believe that I am attractive instead of unattractive
because that will increase my chances of being treated like
I was actually attractive. This is where most people use
a technique called “affirmations,” which are effective at
helping you accept the new belief. They won’t, however
make the belief a reality yet.
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