Geek Syndicate Issue 6 | Page 11

Geek Syndicate
change the rules. We all recall that first scene when the little girl zombie sprang to her feet, and ran at one of the protagonists… “They’re not supposed to do that!” In taking us out of our zombie comfort zone, Dawn of the Dead 2004 rates as possible the best horror remake ever. Other award winners included: • I Spit on Your Grave (2010) – Still uncomfortable watching, especially the first half. • The Hills Have Eyes (2006) – We thought it’d be hard to improve much on Wes Craven’s gritty little horror, but this hit the mark • The Crazies (2010) – To be honest, the original lacked a lot – but this remark had a scary realism to it • Red Dragon (2002) – We sat on the fence here, as Michael Mann’s Manhunter is seriously good, what with Brian Cox, William Petersen and a very scary Mr. Dollarhyde. But the remake did give us back Anthony Hopkins… even if Ralph Fiennes was a little out of his depth • Last House On The Left (2009) – Raw, depressingly good, and tough to endure in certain parts due to the “noholds barred” approach of the content

Remake Disasters
Unfortunately, when it came to the losers, the list was just so long. This collection of remake failures is by no means exhaustive: • The Thing (2011) – Never before in horror film history have the final credits so been the best part of the film. • Rob Zombie’s Halloween (2007) – A little success can be a dangerous thing, Rob • Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) – Let’s just take The Watchmen’s brilliant Rorschach and turn him into something truly forgettable. • The Wicker Man (2006) – Nick Cage replaces Edward Woodward, and relocates deepest darkest Cornwall to somewhere in the US enough said. • The Hitcher (2007) – Sean Bean replaces Rutger Hauer, but forgets to turn up on set with his charisma. • Prom Night *speechless* (2008) -

Image © Overture Films, 2010

Image © Universal Pictures, 2002

• Psycho (1998) – Anne Heche and Vince Vaughn as Norman Bates… seriously – they should have played this for laughs. • The Omen (2006) - Liev Schreiber… what makes an actor commit thespian suicide? • The Fog (2005) – save yourself the trouble and watch

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