HEALTH & WELLNESS
Her light has dimmed.
“Your faith? What’s going on? Are you doubting God?” I
asked her. She nods. “Let me guess. You feel like a ‘fake’
sometimes.” She nods. I get it.
She looked at me and said, “It’s important to me to be
authentic even if I am questioning my faith. We live this
life as if we aren’t supposed to say that we’re doubting.
Which is so ridiculous. Does God expect us not to doubt?
I was raised in a place that said it’s all or nothing. Either
you’re in faith or you’re in fear. There’s no in-between.”
Her voice is raspy.
“But I think we spend more time there than we do on the
extremes of faith and fear.”
She is very matter of fact as she recounts her journey and
how she truly believes prayer is what’s kept her alive.
“My pastor looked up the definition of scleroderma,
printed it out and passed it out at church. They split into
prayer groups at Bible study and everyone prayed for my
healing. Every hour on the hour from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m.”
“How long did that last?” I asked.
She looked me in the eye and said, “They still do it.”
Unable to work because of the symptoms, researching
a cure became Kelly’s job. She refused to be defined by
her illness. Three years ago she had a stem cell implant. It
was her “cure.”
Before the transplant she couldn’t open her mouth wide
enough to eat a banana or to brush her teeth. After the
transplant her skin started to loosen. Within days she
could eat normally again and