WOMEN WHO INSPIRE
THE POWER OF MUSIC
Sexual assault victims unite in song
By VICKI BENNINGTON
Bad things happen to good people. It’s sad. It’s hurtful. It’s awful.
Statistically, sexual violence happens to one in five women in her
lifetime. One in five women. That means if you and a group of nine
friends get together, two of you may become a victim, are sharing
your experiences as a survivor, or are carrying around a heavy secret.
Many victims suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, depression,
flashbacks, and develop coping mechanisms like alcohol or
substance abuse, or even self-harm.
Erin McGrath Rieke discovered firsthand how devastating sexual
violence can be. She lived to tell the tale, but like many victims of
sexual crimes, remained silent.
Twenty years ago, Erin was raped at a party during her senior year
of high school. On a college trip three months later, she was raped a
second time - by a different person.
Juggling the after effects of one attack is huge. Dealing with two
is monumental.
Erin said that she – like many victims – somehow felt guilt and
blame. She knew both of the perpetrators. Yet she felt she had no
power and no voice to use against the boys.
She became withdrawn from social situations and combative at
home. She didn’t talk about it, except to one close friend who helped
her cope.
“I felt like a shell of a person,” she said. “I was engulfed in darkness.”
Her saving graces were art, music and writing. She projected the pain
in her soul into abstract works of art and broken poetry or essays.
But she kept her secret.
“To truly heal a broken soul, you have to let it out. I was in my own little
prison and wasn’t doing anything to break my own silence,” she said.
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Especially at that time (and before), there was a stigma associated
with sexual assault, Erin said. “And the topic is uncomfortable for
everyone, though I see things starting to change.”
Fortunately, she met her husband, Paul, who has been very supportive,
loving and kind. The two have three children.
In 2009, she attended a CD fundraiser, led by Rachel Ebeling, cofounder and executive director for Angel Band Project, a nonprofit
organization that helps victims of sexual assault to heal through music.
“My son and Rachel’s son went to school together, and I went to the
event not knowing what it was about,” Erin said. “As they talked
about helping victims of sexual violence, it hit close to home.”
She began to volunteer for the organization, and eventually opened
up to Rachel. Around that time, she was thinking of going back
home for her 20-year high school reunion, but didn’t know if she
GAZELLE STL
Angel Band Project Executive Director Rachel Ebeling and
music therapist Courtney Arndt during a music session.