FAMILY & HOME
Comparing Myself to
Others was Destroying
My Dreams
By Sharee Silerio
S
ocial media has made it easy for us to connect with people
from around the world. We get to see their lives highlighted
in style, experience some of their most beautiful moments,
and shout for joy as they live their dreams - sometimes our
dreams.
Before we realize it, we place our personality, appearance, abilities
and accomplishments alongside theirs, comparing them piece by piece.
We rate the size or beauty of their homes versus our own home, their
marriage versus our marriage, and their success versus what we’re
working toward.
More times than not, we lose in the comparison. We view others as
“better,” “more accomplished” and “more capable.” As we do this, we
lose our joy, sense of self, a measure or two of gratitude, and limit what
we perceive as our potential. We shrink our own worth in our minds,
and dwell on the differences between them and ourselves.
I’ve done it on more occasions than I can count. It puts me in a place
where I feel insecure about my own worth, abilities and purpose. It
keeps me from moving forward as I feel like I need to be someone or
something else to make my dreams happen or create the life that I want
to live. It leaves me broken, empty and obsessed with what and who
I’m not.
Per Theodore Roosevelt, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Happiness
can’t flourish when we plant doubt and worthlessness in our minds by
viewing our lives from a perspective of deficiency.
I recently decided that I’m going to stop comparing myself to others.
I’m choosing to focus on who I am versus who I’m not, develop my
strengths, and love every part of myself – mind, body and soul. It’s the
only way these big dreams of mine will come true with my heart, soul
and mind intact.
This life is mine to live, and it will not look exactly like anyone else’s -
nor is it supposed to. I am enough, and so are you. Let’s live like we have
everything we need, and like we are exactly who we need to be to fulfill
our divine purpose, because the truth is: We are.
In the future, if I find myself falling into the comparison trap, I’ll
renew my heart, soul and mind by meditating on this note to myself:
When you compare yourself to others, your soul suffers. You are
enough. Respect your value. Embrace your path. Focus on you.
Silerio is a St. Louis-based freelance
writer, blogger, and film and TV
writer-producer. Her work has
appeared in The Root, Curly Nikki
and The St. Louis American. Read
her writings on faith and self-love at
sincerelysharee.com.
SAVVY I SOPHISTICATED I SASSY
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