Gauteng Smallholder February 2017 | Page 59

Dreadful dress sense

Modern fashions are grossly unappealing. Not only are the clothes ugly, but the fact that people have lost a sense of decorum when they dress makes the“ anything goes” approach to clothing oneself … well … blecch. I ' m not referring here to the mad get-ups that avant garde designers drape around their anorexic models to traipse down the world ' s fashion catwalks. And I ' m not talking about women ' s wear. I ' m talking, rather about the t-shirts, slops and baggy shorts that seem to have become the uniform of the modern South African man in summer. We spent part of the holiday at two resorts. The one was very laid back, to the extent that even the waiters and waitresses in the dining room( hospitality students gaining work experience) were allowed to wear shorts, boys and girls alike, and just about anything on their feet. Hmmm … for somebody old-school like me that was almost a bridge too far( I say almost because one of their number was a pulchritudinous young wench with the smallest, tightest pair of denim shorts imaginible that had the male guests dribbling slack-jawed into their soup). And of course if you encourage your serving staff to dress as if headed for a day on the beach you can ' t expect your guests to dress any smarter. Which I found a pity, having grown up in a house where one was expected to dress for dinner, if for no other reason than to show respect for the efforts of the cook. And, with no dress code for guests, and waiting staff dressed casually, I imagine there will come a day when a guest takes it into his or her head that it ' s OK to rock up for breakfast in a dressing gown and pantoffels or to go for dinner on a hot summer ' s evening in a bikini. For many people nowadays, it seems, have lost any sense of acceptable behaviour. At the second resort we stayed at, things were very different. All the hotel ' s literature, from the on-line booking form to the directory of services in the rooms, informed one in no uncertain terms that gentlemen guests were expected to wear closed shoes and long trousers in the dining room in the evening. Even to the extent of informing guests that should they have arrived without long trousers, the hotel shop would be open from which suitable gear could be purchased. Hell, it ' s not a lot to ask for. It ' s not as if the hotel was insisting on ties and jackets. Denim jeans count as long trousers, and

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canvas sneakers or trainers count as closed shoes. Nevertheless, instantly one had a sense of decorum in the dining room, because although there was no dress code spelled out for women, it was clear that watching their menfolk change for dinner spurred the ladies on to greater sartorial heights, too. But there ' s always one, isn ' t there? One evening a shavenheaded fellow who looked he ' d enjoyed too many steroids at a boxing academy, wearing baggies, was stopped at the door by a waitress who he informed“ ah duddunt know” about the trousers code. She promptly escorted him to a single table in a corner, concealed from the rest of the guests by a large pillar and a pot plant. Talk about being put in the dunce ' s corner! In truth, the part of modern fashion that I find most offensive is the desire to wear loud t-shirts emblazoned with silly slogans. These are often faded by washing and simply gross, particularly when they are used in a vain attempt to hide a pair of flabby manboobs and a bulging gut. For, My oh My, there is a lot of lard being carted about on the bodies of South Africans these days! And it ' s not only adults who evidence advanced middle-age spread with their beer bellies and wobbly bottoms. Have you noticed how many more fat children there are nowadays? Look at any crowd of kids today, in a mall, on the beach or at the movies. Little telly-tubbies waddling about, usually stuffing their faces with something sticky and sweet, and peering squint-eyed into their cell-phones or tablets. Frankly, unless such children are suffering from a disease and therefore can ' t help being fat, the parents of such fatties should be criminally charged for their poor parenting skills in allowing their little couch potato darlings to eat and drink unhealthily and skip out on envigorating exercise. For by so doing they are condemning them to a lifetime of predisposition to diseases such as hypertension, cardiac failure, stroke, diabetes ~ and quite possibly an early death.
WRITTEN BY SMALLHOLDERS, FOR SMALLHOLDERS