ludicrous, but why then did the movie seem to implode on itself? Because, you know, George Lucas.
Phantom Menace became not a natural progression to the already rich Star Wars world, but it became Lucas’ way of explaining and removing everything that gave Star Wars its personality. Gone is the force as this mystical bond or energy that very special people (both good and evil) could tap into with training and dedication, instead it’s just some shit in your blood, you know, science stuff.
It’s as if Lucas didn’t understand (or care) that he created this fantasy epic in the vain of the old Greek tales, but instead wanted it now to be some science fiction hybrid with needless facts expelling away major core principles of the universe. We already have a hugely successful science fiction series and string of movies for that, nobody wanted Star Wars to be more like Star Trek with inane technobabble. Not only that, but there were major issues with the movie that even as an awkward middle schooler about to enter high school stuck out to me. Here is a short list of stupid things that bugged me as a kid:
1.) Whats with the robots? I want Jedi’s and Sith Lords or at least real people. Robots are dumb.
2.) Trade Federation? These guys are booooooooring! Are they really the bad guys?
3.) Why does Jar Jar Binks sound kind of like a southern slave? Feels icky.
4.) C3PO… Really?
5.) Midi what now? Blood stuff, like the X-Men have?
6.) That pod racing is freaking awesome! (not a stupid thing but it’s awesome)
7.) Why is this a kids movie? The old one weren’t kids movies?
8.) Really… all those robots had a single off switch?
9.) Wait, this dumb kid can fly a military spaceship?
10.) Fuck yeah, Darth Maul!
11.) Da Fuck?!?! Why would Yoda let Obi-Wan train this kid who is supposed to save or destroy the universe. That’s not a very wise move if Obi has been a Knight for all of 30 seconds, is it? Why can’t he do it, or one of the, you know, Jedi Masters?
12.) This movie is bullshit.
Okay, so Phantom Menace wasn’t as good as… well, anyone outside of someone who has never heard of Star Wars expected. The story was lame, the magic was stripped, Anakin was more annoying than sympathetic and a distance lack of more Darth Maul action made for a generally bland film, but what about that Trade Federation, right, ehhhh. All kids love politics and embargoes and senate hearing and shit.
"Join us next next month for Part 2"