4 Ways
to Co
4 Ways
to Conscio
Gender
Norm
Gender
Norms
in Y
We all
often
all relationships
the ways that
are influenced by
We often mention
the mention
ways that
are relationships
influenced by
gender
after all,
from unequal
of atten-
labor to lack of atten-
gender norms; after
all, norms;
from unequal
division
of labor division
to lack of
to women's
many,
ways these prescribed
tion to women's tion
needs,
there are needs,
many, there
many are
ways
these many
prescribed
and deeply
ingrained
cultural
beliefs
affect how
roles and deeply roles
ingrained
cultural
beliefs affect
how
we interact
with we interact with
each other,
particularly
within
the case
of intimate
partners. But then
each other, particularly
within
the case of
intimate
partners.
But then
what?
How
do gender
you break
down
norms in relationships?
what? How do you
break
down
norms
in gender
relationships?
Even as
an outspoken
feminist, my
are one
area where I
Even as an outspoken
feminist,
my relationships
are relationships
one area where
I
to deal
with As
gender
norms. As a feminine-presenting
actually struggle actually
to deal struggle
with gender
norms.
a feminine-presenting
person who
has men,
primarily
dated
I have
taught
person who has primarily
dated
I have
been men,
taught
that been
being
too that being too
might hurt my
I've that
even because
been told that because
masculine might masculine
hurt my relationships.
I've relationships.
even been told
i am
a feminist
and
not no shave
my legs,
i am a feminist and
I do
not shave
my I do
legs,
guy will
need no
to guy
date will
me. need to date me.
The point
being:
Gender roles are
in relationships
are
alive, well, and embed-
The point being: Gender
roles
in relationships
alive, well, and
embed-
ded in our So,
subconscious’s.
So, challenging
requires a conscious
ded in our subconscious’s.
challenging them
requires a them
conscious
effort.
effort.
the
way, each
come kind
up inside
each kind not
of relationship, not
Gender roles, by Gender
the way, roles,
come by up
inside
of relationship,
just
ones.
For instance,
individuals
usually expect
just straight ones.
For straight
instance,
individuals
usually
expect same-sex
rela- same-sex rela-
tionships
include
a "top" The
and way
a "bottom."
way sex
we think about sex
tionships to include
a "top" to and
a "bottom."
we think The
about
relationships
is extremely
much
up with
the method we think
and relationships and
is extremely
much
tied up with
the tied
method
we think
about gender. about gender.
Undoing
this manner
of liberating
thinking can
liberating of for
Undoing this manner
of thinking
can be
for be
individuals
all individuals of all
genders
and all sexual
orientations.
Even
if you
genders and all sexual
orientations.
Even
if you discover
that
you discover
need to that you need to
practice
gender
in your own
relationship,
it will still be empowering
practice gender roles
in your
own roles
relationship,
it will
still be empowering
to make choice,
that a conscious
choice, you
not are
something
are doing by default.
to make that a conscious
not something
doing by you
default.
Here you
are can
a few
ways you challenge
can consciously
Here are a few ways
consciously
gender challenge
norms in gender
your norms in your
relationships. relationships.
Take Turns Paying
1. Take Turns 1. Paying
Since my
society
to the
cover
my
half are
of often
the bill, they are often
Since society expects
dates expects
to cover my
my dates
half of
bill,
they
pleasantly
shocked
once I offer
it or subse-
to totally cover subse-
pleasantly shocked
once I offer
to separate
it or to
to separate
totally cover
quent
meal
or activity
we share.
might
differ one
if, for instance, one
quent meal out or
activity
we out
share.
this might
differ this
if, for
instance,
person in cannot
the relationship
afford
to even
hide though
dates. but even though
person in the relationship
afford to cannot
hide dates.
but
you are in
this situation,
simply
offering to
you are in this situation,
simply
offering to
buy someone
you buy
are someone
dating you are dating
a coffee
— the
or, if opposite
you are facet
on the of opposite
facet of things,
a coffee — or, if you
are on
things, accepting
their accepting their
will toward
go a long
toward
each
making
them feel appreciated
offer — will go a offer
long —
way
each way
making
them
feel
appreciated
and challenging
and challenging gender
norms. gender norms.
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