Funeral Service Times August 2017 May 2019 | Page 8

8
DISPATCHES
Scottish
funeral
director takes
presidential
chain at SAIF
Benn Abdy-Collins
The importance of love in the funeral industry
Working in the industry as I do, I recognise how difficult it is for people to deal
with and face some of the most upsetting times of their lives: the death and the
saying goodbyes to the people that are their family and friends. I was going to
write “loved ones”, but that’s not always true, for many a relationship is a complex
emotional mix that adds extra, amplifying grief to the trauma of the death and
dealing with it.
Reflecting on this, once we are beyond the business side of selling services
– which package? Which coffin? Which hearse? - we arrive in the powerful and
important part of looking after the families, the individuals who are trying to get
through their experience of grief, upset, anger, despair and often confusion of
feelings.
Recognising that there is no set script for the way of dealing with death, we can
witness dignity, or not, people facing these times with open devastating tears, we
can see blank faces, arguments and anger, hostility and despair. We can become
the focus of debilitating rage for those unable to face what their loss presents
them with. How is it that we then deal with this and enable our families to get
through their time with us?
Returning to the business side for a moment: yes, we sell our skills and services
to our grieving families. That is how we make a living. The way in which we fulfil
our part in the process is important thing here. I realise that just like any other
business interaction, it is very easy to just see the customer as another commodity,
another source of revenue and numbers for the bottom-line. And yet, there is
so much more we can bring to our families. And it is that “so much more” I am
pointing to here.
I’ve witnessed funerals that have moved me to tears with their care and
considered presentation and professionalism. The rituals, the words, the
decorations and the dignity of all the professionals and family involved. I’ve
also witnessed laziness, incompetence and ‘can’t be bothered’ attitudes through
multiple parts of the process as well as the anger families have felt as they’d rather
the focus be on their bereavement, their goodbyes, and the upset of those they’re
attempting to care for, during their own personal grief. That bad experience at
such an important time, continually saddens me. It’s so unnecessary.
Research continually shows that people expect good, considered customer
service when they pay money. In our industry, it can become very same old, same
old, and industrial conveyor-belt in its manner. But it need not; it just takes a
different viewpoint to make that oh, so important difference.
And, my dear colleagues, that’s where I see the heroes at work. I’ve witnessed
so many people go beyond the requirements of their role, to go that extra mile,
to serve their families with love. To show care, to be kind, to deliver compassion
and respect, in just the way the family require it. Remarkable things happen when
people are kind to each other. Especially when that kindness, a service of love and
care, arrives just when needed.
Kindness, understanding and “being there” for a stranger, an individual needing
support, understanding and consideration is powerful, an act of beauty. Not
always easy to do, this is a tremendous sign of respect to both them and the
circumstances they face. It can be as simple as a hug, a cup of tea and a listening
ear.
This introduction column is the start of a series where I speak to different
professionals in the sector and look at how remarkable FDs achieve this.
MAY 2019
The last Scottish president was
Andrew Harvey who held the chain
of office in 1996
The National Society of Allied
and Independent Funeral Directors
(SAIF) is to be headed by a Scottish
funeral director for the first time in
more than 20 years.
Jim Auld, of James Auld Funeral
Service, in Helensburgh near
Glasgow, was elected national
president of the society at its AGM
in Essex in March, replacing Alun
Tucker.
The previous national president
from Scotland was the late Andrew
Harvey, also a Glasgow-based
independent funeral director, who
held the presidential chain of office
in 1996.
During his term at the helm of
SAIF, Auld plans to champion the
rewarding nature of the work of
independent funeral directors.
He said: “I really want to see
working for or as an independent
funeral director become recognised
as a true vocation beyond the
profession. A funeral director’s
job is very much to be a part of
local communities and provide
outstanding service and care to
people at life’s most difficult time.
“I’m very excited about working
closely with colleagues at Scottish
SAIF to ensure a smooth transition
to a new statutory regime, whilst
providing support and guidance to
our members in England, Wales and
Northern Ireland.”
During Mr Auld’s presidential year,
his chosen charity is Breast Cancer
Care, a subject close to his heart as
it has affected his own family and
many of those whom his business
serves.
www.funeralservicetimes.co.uk