Funeral Service Times August 2017 May 2019 | Page 29

SOAPBOX 29
than hymns. In most of these cases we
will make new suggestions within the
permitted boundaries set by the church,
incorporating as much of the client’s
wishes as possible. Sometimes this
involves an entirely new song choice, but
sometimes we can compromise by having
the song played by an instrumentalist
rather than sung. We have even gone so
far as to stand our singer on the threshold
of the church so that their secular hymn
could still be heard by the congregation
inside!
Classical pieces are also a good ‘neutral’
choice if there is a dispute about the music
within the family. We don’t get involved
in disputes between family members
(beyond occasionally providing a listening
ear for clients who need to blow off steam
over the phone) but we will offer help with
finding a solution. Often the answer comes
down to either more music or less music
– include all of the songs put forward by
the family, or simplify the music down to
the one piece that everyone can agree on.
Another way to find a ‘neutral’ alternative
is to pick a popular funeral song with lyrics
that will still do justice to the feelings of the
disputing parties – Il Divo’s Mama, Bette
Midler’s Wind Beneath My Wings, Luther
Vandross’ Dance With My Father, and
Sting’s Fields Of Gold are good examples.
GO YOUR OWN WAY
Sometimes we get creative with what
a client brings to us; we once arranged
a bespoke medley of Jim Reeves songs
mixed in with three favourite hymns.
Another time we created arrangements of
a client’s own compositions, written during
a moment of reflection about her beloved
uncle.
However, with some clients the canvas
is truly blank, and we have to work a little
harder to establish a musical plan that they
can be happy with. Other times, a client
knows what they want, but they have to
contend with obstacles put in their path by
other people involved in the planning. Both
scenarios require careful handling, but we
have learned from experience the best
ways to deal with them.
IF IN DOUBT, GO
TRADITIONAL
In a case where, for example, a client has
been told to organise some music for
the service but is perhaps outside of the
immediate family and has no idea what the
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music should be or do, the best answer is
to play it safe. Although tastes and times
are changing, the majority of funerals
that we come across will feature two or
three traditional religious hymns (such
as Amazing Grace, Abide With Me, The
Lord's My Shepherd and How Great Thou
Art), so that’s a good place to start. There
are also some beautiful classical religious
pieces that can function pretty neutrally
in a funeral service while still bringing a
touch of beauty and focus. Our favourites
in this category are Schubert’s Ave Maria,
Caccini’s Ave Maria, Mozart’s Ave Verum
Corpus and the Sanctus from Faure’s
Requiem.
FIND A COMPROMISE
This also works in situations where
unfortunately the songs chosen by the
family are not allowed in the venue where
the funeral will be held. Some churches
are stricter than others about allowing
non-secular music to be played, and
some do not even allow anything other
One thing that has surprised us about our
clients’ song choices is that a personal
prior connection to the music isn’t always
even necessary for the music to still
achieve its purpose in a funeral service.
One client found a song called Goodnight
Irene while searching for music for her
mother (Irene)’s funeral; neither she nor
her mother had ever heard the song
before, but she decided to personalise
the song by writing her own lyrics to one
of the verses, resulting in one of the most
moving and memorable tributes we have
ever seen. We suggested an Eva Cassidy
song to another client who was looking
for inspiration; having never heard of Eva
Cassidy before, overnight she became
such a fan of her music that she chose four
songs for the funeral of her mother – who,
we can only assume, had never listened to
Eva Cassidy either.
Choosing music for a funeral is a
challenge, but our clients have taught us
that the ‘right’ music is not always the
music that the person loved, or that best
reflects their personality, but the music that
provides the most comfort and solace to
those left behind – whether it’s Ave Maria,
Deep Purple, or Yellow Submarine.
MAY 2019