Funeral Service Times August 2017 March 2019 | Page 30

30 SOAPBOX
The power of music
“Superlatives are inadequate, best money I’ve ever spent” - Why does live music make such an
impact at funerals?
W
e’re always pleasantly
surprised at how much
our clients enjoy hearing
live music at funeral
services – but the funny thing is, they often
seem a bit taken aback themselves. Not by
how talented the singers are, but at how
much more of a difference it made than they
were expecting.
People book music for funerals because
for them it’s on the checklist, along with
the church, the flowers, and the reception.
But the real impact of live funeral music
is something you only really appreciate
when you’re there, in that powerful and
spiritual space, listening to it. We see
congregations suddenly stir and break out
of a torpor of sadness as we begin to sing;
family members smiling through tears;
vast emotional distances being closed;
even laughter as familiar songs dredge up
beloved old memories.
Looking back over our customer reviews,
we can see that there are several ways
in which live music goes further than you
might expect in achieving what the funeral
service is there for. The first of these is that
it helps the family feel that they have done
right by the deceased.
MARCH 2019
“I feel I've done the best
possible for my mum” “Something to remember
forever”
Many of our clients talk about the idea of ‘a
fitting tribute’ in their feedback – a weighty
concept, which funeral directors know can
be greatly underestimated. Organising a
funeral is an enormous responsibility. You
have to create a funeral that can somehow
live up to, and fully express, the impact
that the deceased person had on the lives
of those present. You only get one chance,
and the family mustn’t come away feeling
that they’ve let their loved ones down.
It’s a daunting and seemingly impossible
undertaking for all involved, and sometimes
choosing the right flowers or getting the
mass perfect still doesn’t quite reach the
mark.
In comments from our clients who feel
that live music helped them achieve this,
what strikes us most is a palpable sense
of relief: “Choral music was a big part of
my mum's life and so it was important that
we got it right ... I feel I've done the best
possible for my mum.”
Part of accomplishing this task is, of
course, making the service a memorable
one – even, as one client wrote: “Something
to remember forever”. Sound memory is stored in the brain for
longer than visual memories, which is why
hearing a special song can be much more
efficient when remembering people or
places than looking at a picture or trying
to remember a face. You may have seen
the many videos online of unresponsive
dementia patients suddenly coming to life at
the sound of an old song from their youth.
While the original recording of a song can
achieve this very successfully, a bespoke
live rendition sung just for the people
present breathes new life into the song,
giving the congregation a special new
memory to accompany the ones conjured
by a familiar recording on a well-worn CD.
Congregational singing is a great way for
everyone to get involved, rather than just
being passive listeners. It breaks up the
flow and punctuates the service, and that
nice dose of endorphins that’s released by
singing is really refreshing. Not everyone
feels comfortable singing in public, so
for some the hymns are a necessary evil.
But when a professional singer is there to
lead the singing, a shy congregation gets
permission to really let go, wake up muscles
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