Funeral Service Times August 2017 April 2019 | Page 24

24 SOAPBOX
The generation now reaching the end of
their lives grew up during the Second World
War, where an attitude of putting aside
one’s own self for the benefit the greater
good was not only socially promoted but
imperative for their country’s survival. After
the war they voted for a National Health
Service, into which everyone paid fairly for
the general physical welfare of the nation.
Likewise, the funeral service was regarded
not as a personal affair but a social duty,
an opportunity to show that your family
understood what was expected of them by
society. It was a public occasion, and it was
expected of those who knew the deceased
to be present and to pay their respects.
Now, however, the funeral has very
much turned inward. People who knew the
deceased are invited rather than expected
to come, and decisions about the funeral
service are left to the family. Where before
the family could expect social censure
if things at the funeral were not ‘done
properly’, it is now considered crass to
criticise a family’s choices – for who knew
the deceased better than they did?
APRIL 2019
Since the war there has been a shift of
focus, from the group to the self, from
community to individuality. People are
encouraged to express their personality,
to deviate from the norm, and to buck
expectations that impinge on their selfhood.
The generation most affected by this shift
are the baby boomers: the children of the
generation currently coming toward the
end of their lives – and, of course, the ones
organising their funerals.
During the baby boomers’ lifetime,
rebellion against conformity and self-
expression became strong social
imperatives, manifesting in teddy boys
and beat poets, later hippies and punks.
Financial independence and social mobility
promised to set people free from their
roots in the 1980s, and with the birth of the
internet people were able to choose their
own communities, unhampered by their
geographical location, class or upbringing.
We find ourselves now in the age of the
selfie, where people are encouraged
to stand out from the crowd via self-
expression online.
An important moment for funerals
during this cultural shift was the funeral of
Princess Diana in 1997. While regular state
tradition was followed for the most part, the
inclusion of Elton John’s live performance
of Candle in the Wind showed, alongside
Diana’s royal connection, a need to express
what made Diana unique and different from
the royal family.
Nowadays, the goal for most people
planning a funeral service is not to live up
to the expected norms of the community,
but to make the service as individual as the
person who has died. The baby boomers
and their children need a way to say
goodbye to their loved ones that reflects
their selfhood as well as their place within a
family or community.
We have been privileged to witness
some of the beautiful ways in which our
clients have made their loved ones’ funerals
unique. One client’s ceremony was divided
into two to reflect her mother’s Jewish
upbringing and her discovery of Buddhism
later in life, with live singers to represent
her love of musical theatre. Another client
made personalised mini bottles of brandy
for each member of the congregation as
a nod to her mother’s fondness for a tot
each night before bed. But the easiest way
to communicate a person’s personality
(aside from the eulogy of course) is through
a performance of their favourite music. As
the funeral service grows and changes to
encompass all that we now need from it, we
look forward to helping people celebrate
their loved ones through the music that
represents them best.
By Briony Rawle
The London Funeral Singers
Telephone: [phone]
Website: www.londonfuneralsingers.co.uk
Twitter: @LFuneralSingers
Instagram: @londonfuneralsingers
www.funeralservicetimes.co.uk