Full Circle Digital Magazine September 2013 | Page 49
GRANT CLARKE • HUMOUR • FULL CIRCLE BOOKS
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Again, the irony is that we had Sizzles because Mackers was such a beautifully easy baby. She was a perfect angel in all respects. She was the kind of baby that you see other people have and, being a complete sucker, assume that if you have a baby it will be just the same and so you have one and it turns out to be Rosemary’s baby. Surprise! You don’t qualify for an angel child, you get this one – sure it’s been returned several times but what you gonna do? That’s how the Consumer Protection Act works – except for you, you don’t get to return it. It’s yours. Forever. But here’s a plus it comes with a bottle of rescue remedy, a bottle of Vodka and a bottle of Valium. We call it our three bottle special! Good luck. You’re gonna need it. I used to laugh at people like that: suckers! Now I’m that guy, but it’s worse. I’m the guy who builds the elaborate pit trap, spending hours painstakingly ??\?[??]\??]H?^??[??\?X?[?????????Y\?[???[??Y?[??]?Y??HH?????]8?&\???[???[?[?]?[????YH?H^H????[????\?X?H[??^H???\?H\?Y??H[X?\??\??YX??]\??]???H??&]]?H[YH??K?[X?\??\??Y[??XZ???H[?Y[???[?\?Y?X?[??X?[?]?]X?H?\]Z\?\?[?H?Z?H[?\?^Y\????^??\???H?X???X??Z]\????H?[?Y???????]H?\??[??]H]\?X??\??[???\??K??H^H?[??x?&\?[???\H????[?H?[????X??]\?[YH[?]Y?][\?[?X???H?[???]H[???H[?\?YYX?[?X?X?H[??Z[K??H?[???]XX??\??[?]Y?]?H????Y\??X[?[??]?[????\??K?H?[?H??Y\?[??]?^??\?[?\?Y\??[?\?Y\?]?HZ?[??\???X[XHB???H[???[?H?[??]\?H?????[?HB????HH??[?\?XY?H\??[?\??\?HX\??[X??]X[???HH????]??????H[?\?[Y??[???????]\???&H?[[?\??][?H]^Z[???[?[???XY\??[HY??\?[??^\???^HX[K???[?x?&\?H?H???HB?Y?]Y?\?\?H?\?YYX?[?K[?8?'[?x?&\?H?H???HH8?'\?H[Y??[?]?Y?[??HY?Z[??Y?[?????S?T??HQ?USPQ?V?S?H?TSP?T??L????H??QH?P???TS???