Dear Dream Diary…
For ages, scientists of both the physical and social persuasion have been asking why we dream and
what it means. The unconscious mind is one of life’s greatest mysteries. No one is quite sure what
influences it nor how to control it, although there are some theories. The Native American dream
catcher, tattooed on the backs of white girls everywhere, was originally used to hinder bad spirits from
tainting good dreams (which some communities likened to visions). Many ancient civilizations believed
dreams were a way to foretell the future. In some contexts, dreams were considered healthy- or even
holy- while in others they were deemed evil, something to be feared. Freud thought dreams were
everyone’s way of internalizing their intense, unspoken desire for a penis.
I’ll leave that for my therapist to determine. I’m more interested in pre-dream experimentation. How do
different foods, substances & supplements affect dream intensity, recall, control? To save you the
hassle, I put myself to the test- scouting the headiest forums across the web to compile a list of
recommended dream enhancers. For one week, I tried different pre-bed rituals in the hopes of
stimulating my resting mind. (The crazier the dream the better, in my book.)
Results are below. Try the rituals out for yourself. Skip the duds or attempt them anyway and prove my
evaluations wrong. But please proceed with caution- I do not claim any responsibility for your dreams,
actions or feelings that arise as a result of this study.
VARIABLE
DREAM THEM ES
Day 1:
Peanut Butter
(2 tbs.)
Underwater, 00’s hip-hop
dance party, at event with
Gillian Jacobs, haunted
hotel but ghost girl too
busy to haunt, friend hits
my dog with car and
“leaves a note”, I can’t cry
PB has choline (enhances
REM/promotes dream
recall) & niacin, balance is
KEY- too much fucks up
digestion; then you won’t
sleep at all (pro tip: spread
on Thin Mints)
✬✬✬✬
Floats in a parade, tuna
salad with celery, baseball
cap
Couldn’t recall much,
straight ACV burns, not
impressed, may only work
with raw vinegar (pro tip:
find mother starter &
make it yourself)
✬✬
Smoking bong/using loud
blender in middle of the
night near mom & dad’s
room (they wake up), hairy
boy “worming”across floor
(pink, round skin, sweaty,
stringy, black body hair)
at party- TV’s in every
Too many dreams to even
include, woke up several
times throughout night
(hungry- watch out for
drop in blood sugar),
dream recall: very good,
conclusion: I ♥ whiskey
✬✬✬✬✬
Day 2:
Apple Cider Vinegar
(1 shot)
Day 3:
Whiskey
(2 shots)
NOTES
OVERALL RATING