The Invisible Suitcase
Mental Health Center of Dane County Inc.
When your foster child came to your home he likely arrived with a bag full of his things…his clothes, maybe some toys and other personal items. He also brought with him another bag, one that the child isn’t even aware that he has. Most foster parents aren’t aware of this invisible suitcase either….but they need to be.
This invisible suitcase contains the beliefs the child has about himself, about those who take care of him, and about the world. When a child has experienced trauma—particularly maltreatment trauma that results in foster care—the invisible suitcase gets filled with specific negative beliefs. Beliefs like:
1. I am worthless.
2. I am unsafe.
3. I am powerless.
It also contains beliefs and expectations about you as the caregiver:
1. You are unresponsive.
2. You are unreliable.
3. You are or will be threatening, dangerous, rejecting.
The invisible suitcase wasn’t created by you and the beliefs inside aren’t personally about you. The child doesn’t just store the suitcase at your house…he or she takes it to school, and into the community - everywhere they go. But now that this child is in your home, your job is to understand what this suitcase holds.