PREPARATORY SCHOOL
An Education
Worth Having:
Resilience
An education worth having must include
the development of values and character
traits. This is something that Guildford
Grammar School has always focused on,
with the School values and student care and
wellbeing at the core of everything we do.
Character traits that are widely talked about
are resilience and grit and whether they
are innate in people or something that you
can teach. I believe this is something we
can guide the development of through the
experiences we offer students and the type
of support we provide when things are tough
or don’t work out as planned.
It is the conversation
that helps them see that
these feelings can spur
them on to keep working
hard and try again.
Many highly successful people regularly talk
about their failures and how it was through
reflection and learning from failure that their
success grew. As empathetic humans we
often instinctively want to protect children
and young adults from the pain and hurt
of failure, but we shouldn’t shy away from
students feeling these feelings, and in many
ways must embrace being present in the
moment of failure and truly feeling those
emotions. It is through supporting students
to work through these emotions, being a
shoulder to cry on, and helping plan the next
steps, we can help them build resilience.
Students need to fail and learn how to
manage their emotional response to failure
as well as develop their positive risk-taking
skills so that they are not afraid of failing.
Resilience is a core element of both social
emotional development and academic
progress. How do you cope when you have
an argument with a friend, or when a peer
socially excludes you, and what do you do
when you get the answer wrong or don’t
succeed the first time you attempt the harder
course or project?
Learning to take positive risks starts at a
very young age. Babies learning to walk are
incredibly resilient. Just ponder how many
times they fall before they finally get up and
walk. And how much they wobble and fall
once again even after their early successes.
Academic and social learning is no different.
Everyone makes mistakes, everyone fails at
times and everyone falls down, but what
counts is how you get back up and try again.
If the baby never took a risk by trying to
stand up they would have never succeeded
and felt the joy of first walking and then
running. If a student doesn’t take that
risk and challenge themselves to strive for
personal excellence, they often miss out on
feeling the joy of success later on.
One of my favourite books is ‘The Blessings
of Skinned Knee’ by Dr Wendy Mogel, who
dedicates a chapter to fearfulness in children
and the intense overprotectiveness of some
parents that hold their child back from
developing and maturing. While no parent
wants to think too much about the time
their child will leave home to follow their
own path, Dr Mogel says that “our job is to
raise our children to leave us” and I believe
it is the School’s job to work together with
parents on this journey. Together we should
support and encourage students, while at the
same time help them, often by letting them
fail, to develop independence, values and
character to deal with what life throws at
Dr Holly Miller
them, knowing they can get back up again
when they fall down. We must of course also
help them to know it is okay to ask for help,
no matter how old or successful, and that
there is always a community of people ready
to support them, just not necessarily do the
job for them.
So how does all of this relate to an
education worth having? It is the variety of
opportunities and co-curricular options that
we offer as a school where unique learning
experiences present themselves. It is the
outdoor education program where students
take physical risks, overcome fears and often
need multiple attempts at tasks to achieve
success. It is the love and care we show
students so that they do not back away
from their feelings of disappointment and
have a shoulder to cry on if needed. It is the
conversation that helps them see that these
feelings can spur them on to keep working
hard and try again. It is the way teaching and
learning programs are designed to push and
challenge students and ensure things are not
too hard, but that every student, no matter
their ability, experiences what it is like to get
the answer wrong and have to try again to
find the solution.
Resilience and grit are lifelong skills that
parents and schools can work together on
to support student development, so that
when they graduate or leave home, they can
embrace challenges and never stop striving
for personal excellence.
Dr Holly Miller
Deputy Head of Preparatory School
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