I
‘ve always tended to be a little bit shy.
From the moment my parent’s surprisingly discovered they were having twins, I found myself struggling to define who I really am.
A large portion of my identity search developed
from being Abbe’s counterpart. Being the more
dominant of the two, she took the lead as I often hid
behind her shadow throughout our childhood. Up
until high school, she would even order my meals at
restaurants.
However, as I began to mature, the desire to identify who I really was began to drastically increase.
I found I no longer wanted to hide from the spotlight… Sometimes I wanted to be in it.
Although being a twin has more positives than negatives, solidifying an identity can be difficult as both
siblings’ identities are tied in the other’s identity.
Abbe and I are also identical twins.
As a result, I began to dress differently, emphasizing
that we had to have different hair and clothing styles.
I wanted desperately to be known as “Jesse” instead
of “the twin with the glasses,” “Abbe’s twin” or one of
the “Sutton girls.”
However, over the past year, this need to be separated from this integrated identity has begun to decrease. My identity has become less of what I think I
am but what God thinks I am.
Gratification in appearance and personality isn’t
derived from self-adaption. Stories of both male and
female celebrities with eating disorders and other
problems litter the news daily. The amount someone
weighs, the price of clothing or the immensity of
closet space does not build identity that fulfills the
soul.
“As Christians, we
don’t live to satisfy the
needs or image of the
flesh. God created us
in His Image; therefore,
by definition, we are
perfect.”
We become delighted in ourselves when we see how
God is delighted in us. God made no mistake in
making me a twin sister. He blessed me by causing
me to search for who I really am. In a sense, this
drive helped me find Jesus and His purpose for my
life.
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