Babysitting
After Midnight
by Jesse Erickson
W
elcome, dear reader, to the newest column in Food &
Spirits Magazine, Babysitting After Midnight. You might
ask, “Why is it called that?” Well, having been in this business for
half a decade, I can honestly tell you that more often than not, once
the clock strikes midnight, the patrons of most bars don’t turn into
pumpkins, but instead into sometimes obnoxious four-year olds.
I feel like four years of age is a very apt maturity because many don’t
like the word “no” when the bartender says it in regards to them
getting another drink.
“I intend for this column, with crowd
participation, to be about the life
of a bartender.”
Sometimes those cute little rascals don’t know how to maintain
bodily functions, such as how to vomit in the appropriate place
(and in case you were wondering, a urinal is not one of those
appropriate places, even though it does indeed flush). With that
being said, I intend for this column, with crowd participation, to
be about the life of a bartender, and that of the patron. If you ever
have questions about anything bar related, please ask by e-mailing
me at [email protected] – you’ll help me fuel this column to
greatness.
Now, onto the nitty gritty... what I’m about to write about is
currently in the forefront of my mind, because it just happened.
Hitting on your bartender 101. Whether or not you’re sober or
drunk, be prepared for these outcomes. It’s not 100 percent of
the time, but it is usually the case. In all honesty, hit on us all you
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want, we’re flattered, no matter the severity of your drunkenness,
but please don’t be excessive… that’s not cute. If we’re nice enough
to tell you our names, please don’t stand at the bar yelling at us,
hoping to have a “real” conversation with us. We’re working.
We make money because we’re working, plus we can’t run away
from you, we’re stuck behind the bar all day or night. A casual
“how’s your night going” or “you look very pretty/beautiful/
handsome/cute tonight” is always appreciated.
Keep in mind however, that hitting on any given bartender does
not warrant you a discount or a free drink. You’re very, very lucky
if the bartender hooks you up at any time. Just because you hit on
your bartender does not mean they are indebted to you. We work
in the service industry, we HAVE to be polite, which means our
interest in your casual conversation does not mean we are interested
in going out with you. However, at times that might not be the
case, and your bartender totally wants to hang out with you outside
of work. If that’s the case, they will let you know.
When in doubt, give the bartender your number. Most of us
don’t give out our digits on the job. From ^ \