Food & Spirits Magazine #15 | Page 39

Get Your Nog On by Lucas Korth fsmomaha.com C hristmas time is here. Joyful every year; wrap up all your gifts and press booze to your lips till you disappear. Now you can’t be late, for those in-laws that you hate, you’ve led your wife astray with your jugs of cabernet, what, no church today? Ah, Christmas. It really is a miserable time, isn’t it? The magic got sucked out of it at least a decade ago and now all that’s left is a sad, shoddily decorated shell of obligation. Oof. Nonetheless, the holidays are not all despair. As long as we, as a human race, keep inventing new and exciting ways to get drunk, there is cause for celebration. And what better way to tolerate your bizarre relatives and their wiener kids than by getting absolutely befuddled on some homemade eggnog? Sounds gross, huh? Allow me to explain utilizing some questionable “science” I found on the internet. care” camp, but we’re dealing with raw eggs, dairy and time, so maybe don’t use that Tupperware with all the crusty spaghetti in it. Scrubbed and sanitized, we are now prepared to go to nog. First, the annoying part: separate the yolks into your mixing bowl, discarding the whites. You may save them, of course, and make egg white omelets with them, you John Cusack loving jellyfish. Whisk two cups of sugar into the yolks until well-combined, then add everything else, mixing as you go. Dump the contents into sealable “What better way to tolerate your bizarre relatives than by getting absolutely befuddled on some homemade eggnog?” To begin, you will need to acquire the appropriate provisions: a dozen eggs, one cup heavy cream, a quart of whole milk, sugar, a liter of bourbon, and a healthy glug each of dark rum and cognac or brandy. Before you start it’s very important that all of your utensils and containers are ultra clean. Normally I’m in the “long hair, don’t 39