THE
POWER
OF CHANGING YOUR MIND
By Laurie Gardner
We’ve all heard the expressions about the importance of attitude:
“Check yourself before you wreck yourself” . . . “Mind over matter” . . . “A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks” . .
. But is attitude adjustment really possible? If so, does it last?
Recent brain research shows that we can literally rewire our
brains by choosing to view things in a more positive way. When
we react to external situations by focusing on what’s wrong, we
trigger a negative emotional response, like anger, frustration,
self-pity, or blame. If we instead choose a sunnier interpretation, we not only feel better in the moment, but we also create
new neural pathways that help us to react more positively in the
future.
Last week, I had a chance to practice this skill when I dropped
a full pitcher of water by my fridge. In the past, my first reaction would have been, “Oh man, I don’t feel like dealing with
this right now!” Instead, I just mopped it up and laughed, “Well,
that’s one way to clean the floor.”
Meanwhile, for those of us who are used to making things happen, trying to stay positive can be very difficult when we’re not
in control. I find this to be especially true when I experience an
unpleasant or unexpected life change or when I’m waiting to
hear back about something important.
A couple of suggestions from my “How to Be Happy Even When
Life is Crappy: 32 Tips & Quips to Get You There”:
• Think like a Spaniard. In Spanish, the word esperar means both
to wait and to hope. Instead of clinging to specific outcomes and
timing, have faith in “this or something better.”
• Correction, not rejection. When things don’t work out, its just
not where you belong.
When I was a teenager, I used to watch my older sister get ready
to go out. One evening, she had a fight with her boyfriend and
slammed down the phone. Without another word, she put on a
stylish outfit, smiled at herself in the mirror, then strutted out of
the room. She turned around and winked, “It’s all in the ‘tude.”
Attitude. If I’d only known then how important it is.
Recently, I presented a seminar in Longboat Key. While we were
talking about the power of positive thinking, a woman in the
audience raised her hand and asked, “But how is it possible when
really bad things happen in our lives? It just doesn’t seem realistic in more challenging circumstances.”
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I told her about my favorite aunt. After working for twenty-five
years in a stressful, high-powered law firm, Brenda had just
retired and was looking forward to some well-deserved vacation and leisure. Two weeks later, she was diagnosed with breast
cancer. I visited her in New York when she was in the throes
of radiation and chemo, going through continuous rounds of
brutal, draining treatments that would knock anyone down in the
dumps. Instead, the whole time we were together, she laughed
and joked, happier than I’d ever seen her. When I asked her how
she could possibly be so cheerful given all that she was going
through, she said, “Laurie, I could go any day now. And I sure as
heck am not going out in a bad mood.”
Ten years later, while her doctors use the word “remission,”
Brenda triumphantly tells people that she “survived.” In my
opinion, she more than survived. She’s a shining example of how
changing your attitude changes your life.
One last story from my new book, The Road to Shine. Navigating through fifty countries and forty states, extreme wilderness
adventures, and life’s normal ups and downs, I learned again
and again the power of adjusting my attitude. My biggest a-ha
occurred in Italy:
“Che brutto giorno!” (“What an ugly day!”) exclaimed the hotel
maid, dragging on her cigarette as she looked out at the pouri