31
eyes – a gentleness, a knowing - which made me feel somewhat exposed and vulnerable. But I was also flattered, hopeful, and excited. Our hours spent together this day became the first of many days we would idle away, lying on the sunroom floor, learning of each other’s secrets, and realizing we weren’t alone in this world of ours.
When our small group gathered, Carol would let me know that Anthony was hoping I would be by this day or that and for my own selfish reasons I would never disappoint. Nothing was going to get in the way of my growing fondness for Anthony. The days we spent together led to our blossoming relationship. His parents were off working during the day, he at the nearby Air Force Base, she at a local school. His grandmother downstairs, frequently cooking and letting us be. Carol always at Janet’s until dinner time.
We explored each other in ways I never knew possible – mind, body, and soul - learning each other’s darkest secrets, uncertainties, and hopes for the future. The rush of joy and fear, the shame and thrill of our forbidden bond, the secret that twined us together.
The mere thought of him and his beauty, of how he filled me with awe and set my head brimming with hope, made me flush like a boy in the thrall of new love. His skin was neither white nor brown, but a sun kissed golden glow. Smooth and warm and perfect as a boy can be. His dark hair and sweet brown eyes were a family trait. His slender waist and strong legs, his developing chest and shoulders, his arms strong enough to hold me and hold me they did. Lying next to him, feeling the rise and fall of his every breath, listening to his beating heart, breathing in the scent of his innocence; often wearing nothing more than his small gold cross on a fine gold chain. I wished it could last forever.
There were times that he was devilish and feisty, and other times so tender and fragile. Pure, too; no meanness in him. No spite or evil. A boy angel. A dream comes true. A first love. And I so loved the family name! Could it be mine someday? Silly the thought, I know. The pain and grief were yet to