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Flying Solo
Melissa Earley
The minivan clattered its way from Coba to Flores, Guatemala, full of backpackers taking time off from college to grow their hair into dreadlocks and follow the rough path in Central America. They were unwashed, wore brand name shoes and had iPhones and credit cards paid for by their parents. I was twice their age and the only one in the van with health insurance provided by my employer.
At first, I laughed at my companions’ adventures and tried to enter the conversation with questions and stories of my own travels in my late twenties and early thirties. “Did you make it to Pisac?” I asked of the person describing his visit to Macchu Picchu. “What did you think of Uxmal?” I asked the person who roughed it through Mexico. Each query was met with a quizzical look that said, Don’t you know you don’t belong on this shuttle? You’re old enough to be our mom. You should be part of the group tour on the air-conditioned bus with the lady wearing the bedazzled baseball cap and carrying a wicker beach bag with water, 75 SPF sunscreen, mosquito repellant and a sweater in case it got cold.
They shared stories among themselves about getting lost in El Salvador, sleeping among ruins in Mexico, and being chased by Policía in Nicaragua. I gave up on being one of the gang and stared out the window at the coffee fields and coconut trees and volcanic mountains, remembering the thrill of solo travel through Mexico, and Central and South America twenty years before. I had liked knowing I could make my way around the Yucatan peninsula on public transportation, relying only on myself. I remembered the night near Tulum when it was growing dark and the hostel was full, and I shared a hotel room with a man from Spain. I was both relieved and insulted when he didn’t make a pass. I still wonder if he was gay. I hope he was gay.
This trip to Guatemala was my first solo trip after my divorce the year before. I wanted to prove to myself that I could still travel even without a travel partner. When I was married my husband planned everything ahead