It had been a long voyage already. They’d been on the water for two weeks, the land of her forefathers little more than a memory on this vast plain of an ocean. She hadn’t wanted to travel at all, but James had insisted, and she supposed she saw the reasoning behind his argument. She had no more family, after all, in America and the way James told it, you could hardly take a step in England without running into a Belmont. After all, her child deserved all the family she could muster.
Tap, tap
Slosh, slosh
Swish, swish
It frightened her a little sometimes, to think of the life she was carrying inside her. Already her body was starting to change. They were subtle, little ways that she doubted James had noticed, but ways that had caused her wonderment. How much different would she look by the time the baby was ready to enter the world? Would she even recognize herself? Would she even be herself? The answer was yes, of course, and also no. When the baby came, she’d be someone she’d never been before. Someone she didn’t know how to be. She’d be mother.
Tap, tap
Slosh, slosh
Swish, swish
She wasn’t sure she would be ready. Nine months would come and go in the blink of an eye. Her own mother had died giving birth to her. Was that to be her fate as well? Would James raise their child on their own, like her father had? Would the strain of it drive him to an early grave? Cecilia closed her eyes, her sure hands stilling. There were so many questions inside her heart, so much fear, so much uncertainty she feared she might burst. She breathed, in and out, slow and steady, until the only sounds she could hear were the water and the beat of her own heart.
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