Falling for Harry
By Warren Glover
Cast of Characters
Harry: A suicidal Hare Krishna, with robes and tambourine.
Harriet: A suicidal woman in an orange dress, one high heeled shoe, and carrying a handbag.
Scene: A high bridge spanning a river.
[HARRY, tambourine at his feet, is trying to summon the courage to jump]
HARRY:
Just do it you coward! Come on! Stop thinking about it .Be a man, for once in your life! I can’t. I can’t. I am a coward! This is why I was useless as a Hare Krishna. My weak spirit. No discipline. I’m a starter, not a finisher.
[Harry peers down, scaring himself]
Oh God it’s high! But is it high enough? What was it that suicide website said? For a fall into water...[Harry peers down]...it needs to be at least 250 feet.
[Harry looks up, stares straight ahead at the audience: HE’S SCARED!]
Yep. I’d say it’s 250 feet. Right then. Let’s do it! One, two, three...
[Harry holds a finger up in the air: A REPRIEVE!]
Wait! The website said jumping into water from 250 feet is only 95-98% fatal. What if I’m in the 2-5% non-fatal cohort? That’d be just my luck, some bloody do-gooder fishing me out and rescuing me.
[Harry peers down]
34