102
I love you.
December 30, 2016
I need to ask you something, and I don't want you to read too much into it or interpret it in the wrong way. I seem to remember that you once told me that you knew my birth family's last name. Am I imagining this? If you do know, then I too would like to know. I am doing some "self work.” I'm sure that there is a better, more interesting name for it, but I am trying to work on some aspects of myself that need a little attention. Some of that entails making peace with that part of myself that I have either denied, ignored or been at odds with. It's something I need to do as, over the last few years, a lot of stuff has been stirred up in me that I need to understand and to deal with. I know that you support me in anything I do. I don't want you to think that this has anything to do with you, or with us as mom and daughter - it doesn't, this is a separate portion of myself. Any help you can offer on this path would really be great. I've been reflecting on this for a while, but during a recent breakdown at the naturopath's during the interview, it became abundantly clear. She asked the right questions, I guess. I just need to understand some parts of myself.
She knew the name.
I asked her how she knew the name, usually these things were kept pretty hush-hush. It turns out that I was supposed to be adopted by
My adoptive mother, now retired, avoids Canadian winters, opting for more forgiving climates. Connecting can be hard, and saying this to her even harder. In an act of cowardice I took the easier path of email.