6. WE NEED YOUR
HONESTY
Sex can solve the stresses of a relationship,
but it's often where the stresses show up. If
we complain about a lack of sex (or your
doing certain things only on our birthday),
we may be overlooking serious issues that
underpin such withholding. We need you to
enlighten us. The male ego is often tied to
sex, so it's easy for us to dismiss bedroom
problems as female disinterest rather than
issues we have a part in. Avoiding these
problems, however, only perpetuates your
feeling unseen and our frustration.
3. WE APPRECIATE
SEX FOR SEX'S
SAKE
Having said that about intimacy, sometimes a
little "throw-me-down sex" is the right medicine.
According to Joe Kort, PhD, a psychotherapist
and sexologist, "Men want their wives to enjoy
raw sex, not just endure it or take it personally.
For men, it's not about dominating a woman,
but ravishing her." On occasion, try letting him
ravish you.
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7. WE ALWAYS
NEED IT, BUT
NOT FOR THE
REASON YOU
THINK
Men are accused of being sexually
insatiable, but women should rethink
this. "Men see sex as a celebration," says
Dr. Schaefer. "They wish women would
take more of a 'carpe diem' approach to
it. We move through life at the speed of
sound, with multiplying challenges and
pressures. It's easy to allow demands on
our time and energy to rob us of the joy,
pleasure and opportunity that sex
affords us. On the long list of priorities,
it should not be on the bottom rung." If
that doesn't make you want to "seize the
day" (or something else), consider the
health benefits: Orgasms release
oxytocin, which has been called the
"bonding hormone," bringing couples
closer together while it alleviates anxiety
and stress, reduces blood pressure and
promotes healing.