Honorable Mention in Narrative Non-Fiction
Malus x Domestica
by Jen White
Like God woman creates life. We have the potential for a sphere of wonder, of
Grand Design, within our bodies. Pregnancy is basically a condensed version of the Big Bang going off in the abdomen. To carefully nurture, for roughly 280 days, this creation cramped inside her, this new beginning forming in the depths of her womb, is equal to the patience and grace of God, and her responsibility for the development of her creation just as enormous.
Before I go any farther, I want to follow that statement with some context related to my personal history. I’ve had nothing but brief encounters with established religion.As a child in Missouri, the Gladstone Baptist Church drove a chalky-white bus throughour northern Kansas City neighborhood and picked us up (my 2 brothers and 2 sisters) sothat our overworked mom and dad too tired to praise God got a little extra sleep. Wespent our time in the church basement coloring pages of Jesus and were taught the kindsof behaviors that made God love us. This happened for six consecutive Sundays. Oncethe church realized our parents were not joining any other services they stopped picking us up.
At fifteen, we had moved to Los Angeles, and I attended a Catholic church of a
boy I thought was from my dreams so that I might impress him with my willingness to like the things he liked. I’d sat through four separate services. It was during the fifth service that I, unfortunately, asked a few blasphemous questions during a Q&A session regarding a fast the church planned for the next week. In front of everyone, I asked why God wanted people to starve when he had provided us plenty of food. I’d said I thought we were supposed to praise his gifts, not shun them. Why refuse the bounty and wasn’t that really a sign of disrespect rather than devotion? And then I asked questions that I’m sure, looking back, were considered the most heinous. Why talk about God on a throne
higher than we could reach? Because how could we, in our weakened state from our starvation, ascend to the feet of God on this mountainous throne?
I was simply shown the door as a glaring congregation watched, their eyes
burning my backside with condemnation. And I’m positive the boy I wanted to impress was sending the strongest glare of them all.