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“ M Y FAV O R I T E S E G M E N T ” BY B E T H L I T T L E F O R D My favorite segment was when I jacked off a pig. I went to a cornfield in Iowa, where a family of farmers grew corn and soybeans. But the daughter and her husband decided that, to keep the ranch afloat, they would launch a new business and collect boar semen to sell. The pig penis is a long umbilical cord with cartilage at the end of it. She wrapped her hand around mine and got me to give the pig a hand job. I had to shower afterward because of the pig smell. They reaired the piece as “Swine Song” during my send-off in 2000. When they initially aired the piece, complaints came from the East Coast and West Coast from people thinking it was a skit. But people in the middle of the country understood it. 56 FLOOD