“ M Y FAV O R I T E S E G M E N T ” BY B E T H L I T T L E F O R D
My favorite segment was when I jacked off a pig. I
went to a cornfield in Iowa, where a family of farmers
grew corn and soybeans. But the daughter and her
husband decided that, to keep the ranch afloat, they
would launch a new business and collect boar semen
to sell. The pig penis is a long umbilical cord with
cartilage at the end of it. She wrapped her hand around
mine and got me to give the pig a hand job. I had to
shower afterward because of the pig smell. They reaired the piece as “Swine Song” during my send-off in
2000. When they initially aired the piece, complaints
came from the East Coast and West Coast from people
thinking it was a skit. But people in the middle of the
country understood it.
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