If receiving phone calls tends to be difficult and invasive, it deserves asking why you would want to subject another human soul to this same invasiveness.
If, by some small miracle a phone call fulfills both criteria and you do answer, you’re still not out of the woods for general discomfort. Because you still have to figure out when to hang up. Unfortunately, hanging up is never as graceful as it is in those bad TV series you watch. Consider the difference between the end of a phone call in Revenge and the end of a phone call to your buddy:
===The end of a phone call in Revenge:
Aiden: “…So, back to basics?”
Emily: “No more distractions.”
Hangs up phone.
===The end of a phone call in real life:
Them: “Next week should be fun.”
You: “Sounds like a plan.”
--->NOTE: This is, of course, the point where you should hang up the phone. The phone call has achieved its purpose and should terminate. But, in reality, you go on:
Them: “Absolutely, sounds good.”
You: “Awesome, I’ll look forward to seeing you. Have a great night.”
Them: “Totally. Yeah, I’m excited to see you, too.”
You: “Sweet. Take care.”
Them: “Will do.”
You: “Glad to hear it. I’ll talk to you later.”
Them: “Yeah, later.”
You: “Bye.”
Them: “Bye.”
Hangs up phone.
This scenario happens, of course, only if the other person to actually picks up the phone in the first place. Your options deteriorate even further if you are forced to leave a message. (I recommend avoiding this at all costs unless you have actually planned out what you are going to say. I know this because I read it in a book).
So, the phone call, while helpful in isolated situations, is not a go-to option in modern life. It’s invasive, time-consuming, and difficult to finish gracefully. It’s a brave new world. For dating, you’re better off sticking to texts. Or better, yet snapchats (you can google that, Mom). No one has ever been too busy to open a snap chat. And best of all, there is no pressure to reply to snap chats, and thus no stress involved when waiting for a reply.
That’s all for this week. Stay tuned next week for more about the pros and cons of text messaging.
-H. Sharpe.