First Gong Vol. 8: Thrust FIRST GONG 8 THRUST | Page 67

WE CURSED IT. - Igwe Henry
One Dollar is 400 Naira, sometimes higher and all depends on the seller. Blame the
fragile misogynist all you can. “Puedo harcerlo mejor” I can do better, my Spanish
friend will say. He has torn our economy into shreds, there is nothing left of it.
PIOUS, seated under the bridge and expecting his turn to load, caught a glimpse of
a 2016 IVM, he retorts “Nonsense, wish kian moto bi dis sef” and just then a 2005
DODGE CHALLENGER come past; same PIOUS exclaims “ Ah! See moto. God! Abeg
skata dis wold mek wi stat afresh” and looks on until it fades.
Ojo complains bitterly how he has been shortchanged by a bureau de change while
furiously demanding his change at one of SHOPRITE counters, but before he could
leave, throws a jab at a supervisor: please OGA! Nigerians need KEELOGG’S not
NASCO CORNFLAKES; take note, we got swag. But I can’t believe I spent all this
money on few groceries; Aa! Naira no get valu egen o. Muttering under his breath.
I rather spend a thousand five at GENESIS DELUX crunching my popcorn and soda
not quite excited about the much talked about SMURFS: THE LOST VILLAGE than
pay five hundred Naira on LOTANNA featuring: LIZ BENSON, BIMBO MANUEL, JIDE
KOSOKO and CHRIS ATTOR. Just on leaving THE PALMS I over hear someone say:
“the Dollar is now 450 Naira o!” I shrug and unconsciously screamed: aa! aa! wish
kian contry bi dis sef? Oooo yells a little boy “You CAUSED IT”, you just made me
spill my ice-cream.
Igwe Henry
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