First Coast Register August/September 2015 | Page 22

TAME BACK TO SCHOOL

by KELLY H. MCDERMOTT

The start of school need not signal the start of stress for
kids and families. Although bidding the fun days of summer
farewell can be a major bummer for kids, school also means
that they are getting engaged with a community again after
long vacations, seeing friends they missed all summer and
enjoying a predictable schedule with more structure.
Lay the foundation of a good school year in the first few
months, and this year could be your children’s best year yet.
1. Connect and communicate openly and honestly. The
surface questions are easy: what are you looking forward
to this year and what are you scared of ? But don’t be afraid
to delve deeper. Allow your child the time to talk without
presenting a barrage of questions—but encourage more
dialogue with thoughtful prompts. What is it about art class
that your daughter is looking forward to this year? If something
is daunting, why does your son feel worried about that thing in
particular? Don’t forget to talk about things outside of school,
too. Are there social stressors on your child this year? Are they
worried about a family issue that they may be afraid to bring
up? All of these factors come into play along with tests and
teams.
Remember, even though you may immediately jump into
problem-solving mode, sometimes your child may simply
want to vent or express their feelings about something. If they
express a fear, it may really help them to be able to share that
with you without having you offer them any advice on the
subject. Teens and ‘tweens especially tend to know what it will
take to overcome their problems, and are often much more
interested in knowing that you hear their concerns and care
about those issues than they are in hearing your advice (even
though it may be great advice!).
2. Make a calendar together. This can be a great family
activity, especially if you have more than one child in school.
Look at the semester ahead and, if you can, identify times that
stress will be especially high for each child. Will one child have
sports playoffs while another is knee-deep into midterms?
Parental needs can come into play, too. Is there a particular
22 August - September 2015 | First Coast Register

time that will be stressful for you because of a volunteering
commitment or a work obligation?
Making a calendar for the semester together can help you
and your child or children feel as if you are all on the same
page and part of the same team. If your kids have a variety of
obligations, this can also help your family see the reality of the
demands on your kids’ time. Consider a more flexible schedule
for household chores and ؛Y