T
was tempted to say something smut- ty: ‘I’m English, so
I’m dirty.’) His own favourite clip features him teaching the
Cookie Monster a lesson in delayed gratification. (‘Are you
saying if me wait, me going to get cookie?’) ‘I’m proud that
I’ve met him.
He’s the Cookie Monster, a cultural icon. My mum loves it
and my niece loves it. She’s two years old and she thinks
there’s nothing illogical about Uncle Tom speak- ing to the
Cookie Monster.’
So when we meet for the second time, after he comes
off stage at the Donmar, I am tempted to see if the noboundaries thing is for real. There is beer involved (the
man can drink) and a line of questioning veering from the
absurd to the inappropriate. Put it this way, he’s a very
good sport...
Annabel Brog: Will you throw me your best insults? Tom
Hiddleston: [Laughs] Why are we doing the insult game?
AB: Just go with it, I can take it.
TH: Um. ‘You utter, utter [with increasing emphasis], utter
c**k’ is good.
AB: I just wondered if foul language, delivered beauti- fully,
sounds less foul. Which, in fact, it does.
TH: When I get angry with myself, when I forget lines, I’ll
be like, ‘You absolute f **king f **k c**k b***ocks p**s f **k.
You, you... f **ker’.
affectionate? I hope, kind. Dancing... a lot of dancing.
I insist upon dancing. Anywhere. Anytime. The more
dancing, the better.
AB: [Referring to an incident last year when Tom, on
a press call with Swinton for Only Lovers Left Alive,
was photographed in a revealingly tight trousers]
Cannes. Trousergate. Discuss.
TH: Trousergate?
AB: Please tell me you know what I am referring to.
TH: What are you... I genuinely don’t know what
you’re talking about. Cannes?
AB: Maybe I should just get it up on the iPhone and
show it to you.
TH: OK, get it up on the phone.
[AB types ‘Tom Hiddleston Cannes’ into Google
Imag- es and hands him the phone]
TH: [Slowly] Ohhhhhh heavens...
AB: It has a Tumblr account and everything.
AB: I’ve realised this may be quite insulting. Please TH: Oh God. [Laughing but horrified] How monumentally shaming! What does one say to something like
remember it’s only a game.
TH: That’s totally fine. It may well be more favourable than that? What do I say? Do I need to explain it? I don’t
the truth.
think I can.
AB: Teenage Tom wasn’t uncomfortable with girls,
but he didn’t get to touch one for quite some time.
First kiss, 16.
TH: NO! [Emphatic] First kiss 10! Yes, 10 years old,
tongues and everything. [Laughs] She was a huge
crush, we