The appettite of change - Prose
Tank
Prose / Q2...............................................................27
Tank is one of my best pieces overall. This story began when we had to write a prompt during class to put on an excel sheet to share with the rest of our classmates. I had no idea of what to write, so I went for a crazy idea. What if suddenly students were turned into fish? I left the class that day thinking about my own berzerk prompt. When I got home I began typing. I remember typing and describing sensations, but my story wasn’t getting anywhere. It was until the next day that the story was really built. Later on, during class I received feedback from a few of my classmates and I edited the story. Then I though of a way to make it different from the rest of my pieces and decided to change it to second person. My story was all weird and twisted; the best way to make even wackier was to make it uncomfortable. “When you are finally able to control your silliness you manage to see through the tears twenty one dressed fish looking straight at you. (....) Some wear hoodies, others wear jackets and there is one that wears a hat. Our classmates have turned into fish.” I have always thought that second person texts are weird because I feel like they are giving you orders and telling you what to do. Then, I reread my story and decided that it would flow better if I changed it to present tense. So, I went back and changed the whole story to present. Finally, after several revisions I got it right. However, a weakness is my vocabulary. I use no new words nor different words. They are all quite normal and typical. I could have improved it even more if I challenged myself to use new words. Still, this is one of my strongest pieces of the year and I love it. It shows risk taking and uniqueness. Because if this, I included it again on my portfolio.
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