FHSTheFlash The Flash Volume 46, Issue 7 May 2006 | Page 3

3

June 2006

X-tremely Mediocre Six six sucks
By Aaron Hamel

Flash Staff Reporter
The summer movie season is
once again upon us. This means
big budgets, big explosions, big
stars, and most importantly: super-heroes. One of the first
out of the gate this year is
X-Men: The Last Stand.
The story concerns the
governments plot to stave
off a potential threat to humanity with a cure for the
mutant gene. With that, the
lines are drawn between
Professor X (Patrick
Stewart), and his X-Men,
and his former ally Magneto
(Ian McKellen) and his
Brotherhood of evil mutants.
On top of all that, one of their
former teammates, Jean Grey
(Famke Janssen) has returned
in the form of the evil Dark
Pheonix. From there it’s all Xplosions, X-cess, and Xtravagance. However, while it
is a very entertaining movie,
there are some major flaws that
can definitely not be overlooked.
First off, there were too many
characters in the movie. This
doesn’t mean that I couldn’t

keep track of the characters, it
means that the new characters,
including Beast (Kelsey
Grammer) and Angel (Ben Foster), just to name a few, are
drastically underdeveloped.
Characters like Juggernaut,

Multiple Man, Arclight, and
Kitty Pryde, all had the potential to be amazing characters,
but were so two-dimensional
that the audience just doesn’t
care.
The second major problem is
that the movie is just too short.
It should have been AT LEAST
two hours. That would have
added character development
to characters like Angel and Co-

lossus, who were radically
underused. The movie was also
way to Wolverine and Storm
centered, which just added to
the lack of character development with the other characters,
because with all the time focused on those two, the other
characters were pretty much
left to rot.
The last problem is that the
movie, while capturing all the
entertaining parts of the
comic, fails to capture the
emotional center of the books,
as Bryan Singer did with the
last two movies. The movie
just feels hollow without that
emotion.
I’m not saying the movie
was all bad. It did have some
very good moments, especially the ending. Also, the acting from the superb ensemble
cast was tip-top, especially
Kelsey Grammer as Beast. The
special effects were fantastic
and the whole Dark Phoenix plot
was very neat. Overall, if you
like the X-Men, or you like a lot
of style with no substance, then
see this, but if you’re looking for
a smart super-hero movie, rent
the pervious two X movies.

Kyle T. Snarski
Flash Satff Reporter

Let it be known to every man, woman, and child that June 6,
2006 will be the apocalypse. Well at least the apocalypse of cinema as we know it because yet again Hollywood has taken it
upon itself to remake The Omen. For some unbeknownst reason
some producer said, “ Hey the original movie The Omen was
fantastic! We should really put a lot of money into making it
again, but not as good!” So the demonic works of John Moore,
the same director who made the less enjoyable Flight of the
Phoenix, will release a new Omen film on an undoubtedly awesome marketing strategy date of 6-6-06.
The movie itself wasn’t awful, but it certainly did not recreate
the chilling horrors of the original. Watching the remake felt more
like watching a giant montage in itself, it was good because the
original story was good, but did not do anything to separate itself
as the better of the two. Much of the scares in the movie were a
matter of long periods of silence followed up by a loud
noise, or a disturbing image,
that quickly wore off shortly
after the effect.
In summary if you’re looking for a movie that will scare
you into actually going to
church next Sunday, go rent
the 1972 version of The
Omen. But if you feel you
cannot handle the satanic
fury of the original and are
looking for a much duller, watered down version, have fun
at the theaters.

To pop or not to pop? That is the question

By Alleysha Tucker ‘06
Editor-in-Chief
“Ever since I can remember
I’ve been poppin’ my colla’.”
This lyric serves true now more
then ever before. From students to teachers, nobodies to
celebrities, the collar-popping
phenomenon has swept the
globe. This new trend comes
with its obvious haters: those
who believe that arrogant pricks
use collar-popping as a symbolic
“I’m better than you” to those
who wish to be one of those
self-proclaimed cool kids. I say:
stop hating and
let the fad play its
course.
Opposers of
collar-popping
would love to
read into the
deeper meaning
of this trend. But
what these haters fail to see is
that collar-popping is just that:
collar-popping.
There are no hidden secrets that
only collar poppers share or any
symbolism and
imagery to analyze.
We’re

looking at fashion, not literature!
If one wants to analyze, let’s investigate the true origin of the
collar-popping hate. I think
that those who automatically put
the “prick” title on collar poppers are too judgmental and
shallow. These people must
have insecurities with themselves, and these insecurities
cause them to put others down
simply because of a slight fashion statement.
A hater by definition is someone who puts down others because they possess something

that he desperately wants. According to the definition, collarpopping opposers are true haters. Like Ice-T said, “don’t hate
the player; hate the game.”

Kyle Snarski ‘08
Flash Staff Reporter
For years now the infamous
collar-popping fad has been
plaguing the halls of Fraser High,
and as your fellow classmate
and American I must do whatever is in my power to put an
end to the insanity.

For starters, collar-popping
is no more than an ill fated trend
which will likely
join the ranks of
acid wash jeans,
tie dye tees, and
“ H a m m e r
Pants”.
Although collarpoppin’ seems
like a quaint and
novel idea at the
moment, ten
years from r- Courtsey of
popping is still
not going to be cool.

Words cannot summit the multitudes of reasons collar popping
should stop all
together.
The constant
smell of French
fries from all of
the starch use is
getting out of
control. Not to
mention popped
collars are only
giving the illusion
that one has a giraffe sized neck,
and unless you were born with
an abnormally short neck, this
is bad news.
Although my vigilantism
against the collar-popping
craze has been happening for
several years, a new shocking photograph has forever
made me realize how un-cool
collar popping really is. As
seen on the website
www.poppedcollarsarelame.com,
the famous Al Queada leader
Osama Bin Laden is photographed with his very own
collar popped. I realize that
most collar-poppers are likely
to be unaware of this knowledge, but for the sake of the
Red, White, and Blue I beg
please put that collar down!