Your recent TEDxChicago talk offered an unvarnished perspective on caregiving. What prompted you to share such a personal part of your life publicly, and what do you hope people finally understand about the realities of caring for someone they love who is sick?
So much of the discussion around caregiving approaches it from the angle of trying to fix or improve the situation, when in many instances the solutions being offered are unrealistic or even impossible. How can you
“build your village” when you don’t have a single family member within a five-hour drive? We often know what would make our lives a little
easier, and being reminded that we can’t access these solutions—or don’t have the bandwidth to do so—only makes things worse. Sometimes, I think caregivers just want to hear, “Hey, your situation blows, and I see you.”
Wellness conversations often focus on self-care, but caregivers can struggle to prioritize their own needs. What does taking care of
yourself look like when so much of your time, energy, and attention is devoted to someone else?
That might be the term I hear that drives me the craziest: “self-care.” It’s impossible to prioritize caring for yourself when you can barely take care
of someone else. It’s similarly difficult to plan this type of thing when your life is so unpredictable. I think you just take your moments when you can get them—anything to just turn your brain off for a little bit. What does it look like for me personally? These days, it looks like being a video game soldier and killing bad guys for an hour. Not exactly a spa day, but Call of Duty is a lot cheaper than a facial.