alloween
is the
perfect
time to
talk about something that can be a lot scarier than ghosts: the person who looks great on the outside but slowly reveals a very different side of themselves.
In dating, people don't always show you exactly who they are right away. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. It takes time to get to know someone. We all put our best foot forward when we're dating someone new.
But sometimes the “mask” isn't just a little nervousness or a first-date version of ourselves. Sometimes, as the relationship progresses, we begin to see behaviors that don't match the person we thought we were getting to know.
That's where red flags come in.
One of the trickiest things about dating is that attraction can affect how we interpret someone's behavior.
When we're excited about someone, our brains naturally want the relationship to work. We may focus more on the things we like and find explanations for the things that make us uncomfortable.
He's not controlling, he's just really into me.
She's not inconsistent, she's just busy.
He's not jealous, just cares about me.
She isn't dismissive, she's just independent.
Sound familiar?
Sometimes we're not ignoring the red flag because we don't see it.
We're explaining it away because we like the person.
And that's where things can get complicated.
H