Fete Lifestyle Magazine October 2022 - Best Of Issue | Page 60

Photo Credit Melanie Stander

Healing Begins with Forgiveness

Follow this 9-step process

BY DR. ERIKA MONTGOMERY

“He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” (John 8:7)

hy is forgiveness so

difficult? When we

speak about

forgiveness, we often focus on the person who harmed us, betrayed us, abused us, abandoned us, or wronged us in some way. We tend to focus our attention and energy outward to the people, circumstances, and situations that have caused us pain and suffering. We are so focused on what happened to us that we play the narrative of the story or we see the pictures of the story play over and over in our minds fueling emotions of anger, pain, fear, regret, shame, guilt, resentment, sadness, and so on. This toxic pattern brings us right back to the past and the moment of impact digging us deeper into a dark hole oftentimes causing despair. This

replaying of our past experiences and recreating our memories, only serves to keep us stuck in the emotional stronghold of the trauma. This cycle reinforces the pain and suffering that we have already lived through and survived. This cycle of suffering also becomes self-inflicted when we have made a mistake or caused hurt feelings or harm to another. So ask yourself, “When does the pain end if you keep replaying the past in your mind and body? How does this pattern of self-inflicted trauma stop?”

Healing begins with forgiveness of yourself. Forgiving yourself is vital to releasing the emotional,

mental, and physical stronghold of the trauma. The key to

forgiving yourself is not focusing outward, but bringing all your energy and attention inward to the innermost place in your heart’s center. Your heart's center is the soul's healing place. Pouring love, compassion, understanding, grace, mercy, and forgiveness for yourself into his space is the most transformational healing you can give to yourself. Here are 9 steps to healing through forgiveness of yourself and ending the cycle of suffering. This 9-step process will support your emotional release, mindset change, and begin your healing.

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