pain is to grow! It makes me laugh when I picture this scene of a pig in slop… Don’t you feel like that sometimes? It’s as if you just keep falling face-first in the mud, learning (or not learning) the same lesson over and over again. The universe has a funny way of teaching through pain; after all, what better motivator is there? Would you ever move or grow if you had only pleasure? They don’t call it ‘growing pains’ for nothing.
On Mother’s Day, I decided to truly honor and bless my mother for coming into my life and being my greatest teacher. I can think of no more influential a person in my life than my mother - a woman who was, admittedly, at times my greatest nemesis and arch rival. For those of you who do not have the picture perfect relationship with your mother, have no fear. Believe that she is in your life for a reason; take solace in the fact that there is a greater purpose for your relationship than you might realize.
When patients come to see me with strep throat, mono, or any other ailment, I give them a protocol to ‘fix’ the issue. Considering this, I cornered my guru Rama from Full Bloomed Lotus for an exact protocol or answer to my ‘mother issue’. In her simple and loving way, she shared, “approach all situations and beings with the posture of compassionate curiosity.” What does this mean? I think it means to find the understanding in your heart that we are all here blowing it big time; that we are all great mothers and not so great mothers. That we are all perfect at times, but imperfect most of the time. That at times we are all a big clumsy bull in china shop - messing everything up most of the time. So have compassion for those around you that are jealous, petty, stingy, rude, mean, ill-wishing… the list goes on and on. Not only must we practice this compassionate curiosity for others, including our mothers, but we must also practice it for ourselves.
And so out from under the rubble we crawl - with all of our old stories and skeletons in tow. Now comes the truth of why you did a certain thing or behaved a certain way, or why our mothers and sisters behaved their shitty way towards us: the truth is that they didn’t know any better, and frankly, neither did we. The truth is that all of our behavior stems from our karmic wounds. So you can have the compassion for yourself and your inner-child’s behavior because - surprise! - you are not perfect either. This way, you are soft and curious, and not suspicious, cautious or judgmental. This is also how we start to heal with the people around us; the people that are here to teach and share with us.
The real demon chasing us is ourselves - we are as hard on ourselves as we are on others. What if we were actually able to get out of the story in our head, go to our heart, and have compassion for not only others but for ourselves? Can we work on knowing and respecting, at the deepest, most-primitive level, who we are and where we are on our journey? Can we stop measuring ourselves against anyone else's journey? Rama calls this the ‘warrior spirit’ - when we can learn about ourselves and dig deeper into the dirt where growth is found.
So love and bless your mother or sister(s), and know that they are simply here to mirror something deep inside of you - to teach us our greatest lessons. And as you love your mother, love yourself and allow yourself the space to heal in light of all you’ve learned.
Health & Light,