Fete Lifestyle Magazine March 2018 - Women & Beauty | Page 44

eing ambidextrous, near-sighted in one eye and far-sighted in the other, I tend to walk into things a lot. I joke and tell people I am a walking dichotomy. In fact, after a week at surf camp, I left without knowing whether I am a goofy-foot or not. I had a similar experience when I learned how to box (which, actually comes in handy). Though deciding which side to use can sometimes be unsettling, they both feel natural to me.

The same goes for how I react to things in life. I find myself at ease at both ends of the spectrum. For instance, I have learned that when faced with difficulties, the best experiences of my life tend to immediately follow. Sure, it’s messy along the way. But I welcome a good romp in the dirt. It is where everything beautiful begins.

About five and a half years ago, I faced a profound challenge. I was diagnosed with cancer. I endured surgery, treatment and cognitive issues. There were countless bumps along the way both physically and mentally. After all, I had lost my breasts to triple negative breast cancer, my hair to chemotherapy, and nearly 30 pounds from grief. At 5’9” I was suddenly a size zero with a bald peanut head, severe cheek bones, scars, and a new very thin body. I would look into the mirror and see a stranger looking back at me. It affected all aspects of my life - who was the woman stepping into a conference room at work or laughing with her friends at a crowded birthday party. Who was the woman sitting at the table on a dinner date? I understandably went through an identity crisis, both on the inside and out. It took time and a lot of work to find my way back to myself. Though a terrible experience, I am grateful for the perspective and wisdom I gained from all of the ups and downs. I see it as quite a beautiful thing.

Like me, many cancer survivors also claim that having cancer is the worst and best thing that has happened to them. It may sound insensitive, but it is our truth. When facing mortality, you tend to cut to the chase. We understand the bigness of gratitude. Our life skills crystallize, and we mature beyond our years. We learn that though we may never emotionally recover, we can develop and sharpen the tools we need as we go. If we are blessed and lucky enough, when such a chapter ends, we have the choice to turn the page and begin a new one. This is what I did. I turned the page.

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