Make sure every time you meet someone new; you research them. We verify by checking ID and by running their criminal history. Getting someone’s last name and doing a google search before the meeting goes a long way. It can reveal shady pasts, authenticate businesses and even verify home ownership or lack thereof. You need to be your own detective so do research before the meeting.
Now that you are comfortable meeting this person, always meet in a comfortable and busy location. Do not let anyone pick you up from home. Get to know them on a friendship level. Getting close to someone does take some vulnerability and ability to get deep. Ask about who they are, their hopes and dreams, their goals and passions and everything in between. No, it doesn’t all happen over a one-hour coffee date. Try to get to know this person and if after a first date you’re not sure, try again. It’s almost impossible to get to know someone after an hour. If they seem nice enough, then try again and put yourself out there. We are all so busy and have such crazy hectic lives. It’s hard to meet new people. Once you do put in the effort, reach out and let them know you are interested and want to see them. No games, let someone in to see the real you. That is how we connect in all relationships, by letting people into our lives and being compatible, bonding, and building chemistry with another person. You should be honest about what you need in someone, but it doesn’t always have to be in the first few meetings. I have a lot of clients that may blow a potentially great match because they are talking about desperately needing to get married and have babies. A simple, “Yes, I would like to have a family one day,” will do the trick.
Sometimes it takes time to find the one, but don’t give up. Always get out with a smile on your face ready to enjoy life and you will attract likeminded, positive people to you. Be open to people outside your type because you never know unless you try. Be open to getting out of your comfort zone and get out to mingle and make new friends. You won’t find someone unless you try. So, get out there, live your best life and good things will come your way.
Photo credit Brian Kyed