Also, if I missed a training session I’d planned or cut a run short, my inner dialogue was rough: You are so lazy, you’re the worst.
Loving Kindness meditation is teaching me to reframe my fitness attitude, starting with my reasons for working out. Instead of thinking in terms of negative body image or laziness, my motivation is to be healthy so I can be active with my young kids, to be able to travel (someday?), and to keep my body and mind fit. The physical benefits are great and help me feel positive, but I found these new goals much more inspiring than (just) great biceps.
I also started making time to be present for this experience instead of feeling stressed about fitting into a busy day. I get up early to exercise in the morning, which forces me to go to bed earlier, a cycle I'm thoroughly enjoying. The time is all my own; the house is quiet and still. I added a day of just yoga to my schedule and included more stretching. I use the last 10 minutes before the kids are usually awake for meditation, something I also used to try to cram into a precious few free minutes.
I start the day feeling calm, centered, recharged. I'm ready to give more to others, as my day often requires because I've given myself a gift of Loving-kindness.
I still have many personal goals for the year but running them through this LK ‘filter’ takes the pressure off. 'Eat healthy' turns into 'Be more mindful about your eating.’ If I want a cookie with my afternoon tea, I’m allowed to have that, as long as I take a moment to enjoy it instead of eating it on the run. ‘Don’t lose your temper’ becomes ‘Take a moment to breathe,’ I may still lose it, but Instead of good and evil and total success or absolute failure, I'm allowing for more gray areas.
I even started doing a short meditation practice with my kids before we start their school day each morning. We sit together on the couch, sometimes holding hands,sometimes not, and we repeat this basic mantra:
May I be happy.
May I be safe.
May I be healthy.
May I be peaceful.
May I have a strong mind and body.
May I have a good day.
I give them each a kiss and a hug, tell them I love them, and they dash off for their headphones and Google classrooms. The first two days, they were skeptical and giggled. On the third day,
they were engaged. By the fourth day, they reminded me when it was time. If you think this sounds cheesy, you’re not alone. Even TPH founder Dan Harris admits to being a ‘fidgety skeptic.’ But once you start to tune out that inner critic, you'll find there's new space for growth and acceptance.
May you be happy, may you be safe, may you be healthy. May you find love and acceptance and joy. And may you find it within yourself.